Me....uncensored!!

Summary

2008-12-31T08:37:00.003-05:00

Well, we have had quite a vacation here in AR. We have had such a good time here that we don't want to ever go home. I never realize how much I miss my family until it is almost time for me to leave them :(

Well, here is a rundown of our vacation....

I got the stomach bug (that had taken over the house) the night before Christmas eve. It was pretty bad, and the recovery took a few days, but luckily, it stopped with me, so my kids and Jess never got it. But luckily, I had my hair done a day prior, so I was not too upset, because really, one can't be too unhappy if they have fabulous hair!!

Christmas morning was pretty awesome for me and the kids. They got the rest of their "Santa" stuff as well as a Wii from the Joheims! They also got some cool games to go with it which just made them even more excited! I got the wii fit from the joheims, and some pretty cool cooking utensils from Jenette (my sisters MIL), so we were all pretty excited and I am just so grateful that Southwest Airlines allows two bags per person so we can take home all of our treasures and not have to worry about extra charges!

Christmas morning also brought a good ol' family fight, and not to get into to much detail, but Mere, Jess, and I found ourselves standing around their island in their kitchen trying to figure out how to cook a turkey and a ham! Well, thank god for my dad and cell phones because we called him, and he told us, and even though the other parties of the fight came back, we were able to get dinner ready without their assistance!

The next few days brought alot of shopping, visiting, and running around. We went out the day after Christmas to get some deals...the kids each got a new wii game, I got a new purse (to go with my new hair!). We also went to the movies and saw "double features" which only made me realize how much I love having older kids. Mere, Jess and I got to see two grown up movies, while Maddie, Colin and Sydney saw two kids movies. I was most excited because the last grown-up movie I saw in the theatres was Ocean's 11!!!!

Lastly, my babies turned 10 and we had quite a celebration! We went to Panera for breakfast, swam all morning, and then went to golden corral (yuck!) for dinner where we were joined by some of Meredith and Jess' friends. Once again, I was thankful to have 10 year olds because I did not need to do anything for them, I just sat and ate my dinner and enjoyed the company! We wrapped up the night by having cake at the house (Maddie got her Chocolate on chocolate cake and Colin got an INCREDIBLE peanut butter cake from coldstone!) where the kids played and the adults talked and everyone had a great time.

Now it is New Years eve morning, and tonight me, Mere and Jess are heading out to some party where there will be an 80's band playing and we can dance the night away! Janette is watching all the kids (brave woman) so we can all go. Then we only have one more day here and then we head back home to "reality". GOOD TIMES!

-Meg

I remember....

2008-12-30T21:47:00.002-05:00

To my babies...

I remember the day I found out there were two of you growing in my belly and all the emotions that go along with it.

I remember the morning you were born. I had to wake up at 5:30 a.m., do my hair and make-up, because I knew there would be a slew of pictures being taken all day.

I remember checking in at the hospital and finding out I was "bumped" and that I would have to wait three extra hours before I would meet you.

I remember walking down the corridor to the O.R. and being so nervous, and shaking so much that I had no idea how I was even making it down the hall way.

I remember Maddie being pulled out and I not being able to hear her cry, but being reassured that she was ok.

I remember two minutes later, when Colin was pulled out, and I heard the loudest and most beautiful cry I had ever heard!

I remember a few hours later when I was in my room and I got to see you both and I was amazed at what I had created.

I remember over the past 10 years watching you two grow into such strong, opinionated, self-sufficient, and gorgeous little people who will always be my babies!

Madeline and Colin, I love you more and more every day!

love,
Mama

unmotivated!

2008-12-17T22:05:00.002-05:00

This just about describes my attitude toward blogging these days. These last few months have sucked..I mean really sucked! Between working at both jobs, going to school, keeping up a house, and trying to spend time with the kids in the middle, I barely have time to breathe let alone blog! I have been keeping up with the blogs I read, but I just couldn't get two seconds together to write...there was always a test to study for, dishes to do, laudry to load, etc.

But now I am done with school (for the sememster) and I will be leaving for AR in a few days, I have some much needed time off to get caught up on all the things I have been slacking on for the last few months.

I will truely be looking forward to leaving on Sunday morning and getting to spend the holiday with my sis and her family.

I am also looking forward to next semester when I will be taking classes online allowing more time for me and my babies!

Lastly, I am looking forward to sunday when the babies and I head back to the roller rink!! hahaha

-Meg

Roller World

2008-11-18T05:31:00.002-05:00

I remember the first time I ever went roller skating. We lived in Colorado, I have no idea what the name of the rink was, and I stayed on the "kiddie rink" the whole night. And, although it looked nothing like the movie Zanadu, I remember watching the other people (other people meaning my VERY cool sisters) and wanting to go that fast, and look that good, but still trying to manuever my first grade body to not fall.

Well, as I got older (and we moved back to MA), I still continued to go roller skating at Roller World in Saugus. I would go for Girl Scout and school parties. The place would be packed with kids, the snack bar would be filled with smoke and adults (back then nobody was EVER worried about second hand smoke) and it would the event of the school year. I even graduated to Saturday nights when all the really fly people went...oh ya, I was that cool! I can remember at one point taking lessons with my BFF at the time every Monday afternoon. I got so good that I could skate backwards, do the crossover as I turned the corner, and I mastered "shoot the duck". I would always come home with blisters on my feet, but I loved it so much. I loved the music, the lights, and all that went along with it.

Well, about 11 years ago (when I was staying in a place called Project Cope) we got to go roller skating one sunday night, and once again I had a blast. I felt like I was a kid all over again. The surprising thing was that I could get right back up on those bad boys and skate that I had just done it the day before. It truley was just like riding a bike....you never forget!

Well, last night the kids had a school party at a local roller rink and since I had the night off, I told them we could go. Now they had gone a few times before with their old after school program so they were so excited. I wasn't sure if I would skate or not, depending on my foot, but I knew the kids would have a blast. Well, before we got there I decided my foot was feeling good I would give it a try, I mean how hard can it be (just like riding a bike, remember?)

So, we showed at promptly 6:00 and we were the first ones there, but we didn't care, we went in, got our skates laced up and the kids were ready. I have to admit, I was a little nervous standing up, but I faced my fears and just did it, and you know what, IT IS NOT LIKE RIDING A BIKE!! Sure, I got up and remembered how to move, but I had no recolection what so ever on how to stop, skate backwards, and I could forget about shooting the duck. But the most important thing was that in all the times I skated, I had no idea how many leg muscles were used! I was so sore, I thought I was going to die. And to top it off, the good ol' blisters are back.

All in all, we had a great time. There wern't many people there, only about 30, but that was problably for the best because the kids each fell about 26 times and there was no fear of anyone running over fingers or causing a 7 kid pile-up. The kids were so impressed by my skills, but Maddie was annoyed by my dancing (per usual) and we decided that we are going to go to these whenever they come up!

-Meg

I know my body...i think!

2008-11-13T11:25:00.003-05:00

My body always lets me know when I need to slow down. About 5 years ago, I was working 35+ hours a week, taking 4 classes and trying to take care of the kids. Well, one day I woke up and it looked like I had swallowed golf balls. I went to the doctor and she gave me an antibiotic (sp?) and that was that. I took it for a week, and literally the day after I finished the medicine, the golf balls came back. I went back to the doctor and she told me that I was running my self ragged and my body was trying to tell me to slow down. Great...like I have the time to slow down. But, out of fear of being completely out of commission, I started getting more sleep, eating more soups ( it builds antibodies), and took advantage of my off time. I eventually got better, and I figured I had learned my lesson.

Well, a few days ago, my right foot started hurting, ALOT!! Now, I have gotten this thing called plantersefeciatiaus (no clue how to spell), which is usually something that happens when I wear flip flops too long (sound crazy) and the bottom of my foot hurts and it goes away after a day or two. Well, this time my toes are hurting, and it has been 4 days. Not normal AT ALL!

So this morning I went to the hospital to see what is going on. Well, after xrays and talking to about 20 medical people, I figured out the diognoses...an infection in my foot, the follow-up plan....stay off my foot for at least 24 hours!! WHAT!! Like I have the time!

So, the good news is that I don't have to work until tomorrow, so at least I didn't have to call in sick and be a jerk! The bad news is that, once again, I didn't listen to my body so it told me in an extreme way to SLOW DOWN! Which is what I am going to have to do. I don't know how, but I have to work on something.

So, now I am stuck home today, and lets just hope I am better tomorrow!

-meg

Something funny

2008-10-26T09:19:00.005-04:00

O.K., so I know that the last few of my blogs have been really serious and somewhat depressing, so I figured I would put in some humor here to lighten the mood. I really should be studying for my exam on Tuesday, but I am being bad and blogging instead!

As you know one of my jobs is working for Joann's Fabrics. My mom and aunt became friends with the store manager (because they are there more than anywhere else) so they helped me to get the job, and I am very grateful for it because it is a good supplement for when I can't always sub. I personally think the main reason was so they could get the discount, but that is neither here nor there and not what this blog is about. Now, don't get me wrong, I really like the people I work with because we have fun and try to make light of the insanity of the place in order not to go insane. Also, I have never worked in "retail" before, so when I accepted the job, I figured that it would be a pretty easy job that consisted of working a cash register, putting stuff away, and cutting fabric for the old ladies. Now, I also figured that since most old ladies are nice, this would be a pretty stress free job as well. Well, boy did I think wrong. These old ladies are CRAZY!!!! They will fight with other ladies as well as the employees for what they want. They get mad when something is on sale and they can't use their coupons, and when they do use their coupons, they have about 17, and want to use them all, even if it entails 17 different transactions. They stop you (even if it is clear you are running to the bathroom) to ask you where something is and expect you to walk them to it and then have a 15 minute conversation with them about the best kind to get, even after you tell them you know nothing about fabric. They get mad if there is a line over 3 people at the cutting counter or at check out, and they will ask if we can get some more employees to come and help (as if we are hiding them in the back and not that we don't have anyone else there!!).

So I figured I would put some of my favorite situations here to make you laugh because they sure made me laugh....

--As I was checking fabric for an 81ish, female guest at the register (ya, we have to unroll every piece of fabric to make sure nothing is in there, since it is a long walk from the cutting counter to the register) I found four rotary cutter replacements and two pairs of small scissors tucked into her fabric roll. Now for those of you that don't know, those items, all together, cost about $100 dollars. When I asked her if she wanted them, she said "No, I have no idea how those got there!" Of course they must have jumped into the fabric on their own! It just made me laugh that this old woman was trying to lift this stuff!

--On FL drivers licence's there are about 100 number, and each one has some significance to the person. Well, your date of birth is in there, how many years you have had your licence, how many times you have renewed, the office number of where you had it done, etc. Well the last number is how many felony's you had, and I had this other (very old) woman come through my line and write a check. Now, not many people write checks anymore, but when you do, you have to show your license. Well, as I was writing down her info, I realized that her year of birth was 30, and that her number of felony's was 9! Holy crap! I almost fell on the ground then. Talk about a shocker. I wish I could have asked what they were all for, but that would have caused me to loose my job, and then my mom would be mad because her discount would be gone, and how would she make stuff...you get the hint!

--I had a woman come through my line with a Dooney Burke bag, fingers, wrists, and a neck full of gold, and designer clothes. She was buying some summer napkins and paper plates that we had marked down 70% because it was after the season. Now, they were only $1.99 to begin with, so with the 70% off they should have been around .60 cents each, and she had two of each, so we are talking about $2.40 total. Well, it was the first day of the sale, so they new discount wasn't in effect yet, so they were only ringing up at 60% percent off. Now, I know that a sale is a sale, but really we are only talking a matter of cents here, and she put up the biggest stink and even after I figured it out, and fixed it for her, she was still yelling that our store is terrible and she will never come back. Now, if she had a $100.00 order and that happened than I could totally understand, but in the end, it was only a matter of 16 cents!!!! SERIOUSLY!

So, this is my life, and as I said, I love the people I work with, but some of the crazies that come in my work, I could definitely do without!!

--Meg

Breaking the rules!

2008-10-20T07:53:00.002-04:00

My poor babies. I run them ragged between all my duties of a working/school mom, that I sometimes forget that they are only 9 (well almost 10) and their little bodies require more than mine does. But when it catches up with them, it is alot more severe than when it catches up with me!

See, I always say that me and the kids grew up together. I mean lets be serious, I was not really in a mature place when I got pregnant, and I had to grow up fast. Sure, physically I was 23, but mentally, I was about 16. So some of my decitions and ways of thinking made people wonder if I was on something or just plain crazy!

I let my kids be kids, but I am very up front about just about everything in their lives, sometimes to the point that some people don't agree, but that is just the way that works for us. I always tell them that we are a team, and we have to be able to work together, and if there is a problem with something, then we will work it out and keep on pushing forward, and that is pretty much what we have done and we have been going good for the past (almost) 10 years.

So, as I am sitting here blogging at 8:00 a.m. on Monday morning, my babies just woke up and I am breaking the rules today and letting them stay home. They have had such a busy few months, and I felt so guilty trying to wake them up, so I let them sleep, and then I decided to let them stay home today. Although I have alot today, I have decided that either the kids will come with me or we will just do it tomorrow, all that is important is that my kids get a day of rest that they deserve!

Until next time,
Meg

This is the life

2008-10-17T18:59:00.004-04:00

As I sit in my screened in garage, on a warm fall night (ya it's about 80 degrees) with the fan on my face and my kids playing in a good neighborhood, I realize, life is good!!

I know, I know, in my last post I was bitchin and moanin about how busy I was, and that has not changed, and today was no different. I had about ten errends to do before getting the kids from school, then sell pizza at their school (fundraiser), then run more errends, then do our bi-weekly out for dinner (just me and the kids), then mow the lawn, then catch up on laundry. Now I thought for sure that tonight would be non stop, but about 30 minutes ago the kids went out to play with their new friends down the street and so I found myself alone.

Normally, I would take the oppertunity to catch up on sleep (I really don't sleep as much as I used to!!), but I had so much damn coffee today, there was no chance of that, so here I sit, letting all who read know that aside from all the stress in my everyday life, I really like, no, I love where I am at!

Well, thats all for tonight. We have an early day tomorrow...Baseball game at 9 am, which means be there by 8:30...the queen is not happy about it because it is her "only day to sleep in!!", so she will be a joy at the game!

--Meg

what to say.....

2008-10-15T22:06:00.002-04:00

Well, as I sit here and think about what I want to blog about, I am at a loss...I know, it's never happened before, but my life is so friggen boring right now that I have nothing to say. I mean, oh sure, I could talk about the papers I have due, or the crazy old ladies that come into my work, or how fresh the kids are that I sub, but really, who wants to here that. I know I don't!

Here is what has been going on...my friends are getting pissed at me because I never talk to them (sorry guys!!), my kids hate the fact that I work so much and when I am not working I am on the computer doing work for school, and my body is screaming at me because I forget that I am almost 34(yuck!!) and that I am 18 and that I can function on 5 hours of sleep a night!

But it's almost over, just a few more months of this crazyness. Once this sememster is over, I can slow down and I can regroup and maybe not be so crazed. Then maybe I can go back to my talks with Jaime, weekly talks with Kama (I am trying!!) and my late night talks with Shaun. Maybe my conversations with my sisters won't have to end with me saying "Well, I have to get to work/school, I will call you when I can". Maybe the kids and I can chill out together and I won't fall asleep. Let's just cross our fingers and hope we get through it!!

On a better note, Colin got the chance to pitch at his game on Saturday and he struck out two kids!! I didn't see it, because I could only stay the first hour (because I had to go to work...shocker), but Pepere said he did great! I am so flippen proud of him!

Well, I am off to bed....

Meg

my email adress

2008-10-11T07:43:00.002-04:00

Well, as I was mowing the lawn yesterday, I was thinking of all the things I do and I came to the conclusion that my email adress doesn't really fit my personality (it really is amazing what you think about when you are listening to the roar of the mower), so tell me what you think at what I came up with....

Mom22animals@yahoo

insomniac4life@yahoo

OldLadyonCampus@yahoo

LovetoScrap@yahoo

FabricSpecialist@yahoo

BostoninFlorida@yahoo

CMyGrrulll@yahoo

HotSubTeach@yahoo

RedAntHunter@yahoo

ILoveLaundry@yahoo

Well, that is all I could come up with for now...hope you liked!

Meg

What my reality series would be called.....

2008-09-24T20:53:00.003-04:00

Now, as the queen of all things Reality TV, I have always thought that my life is just insane enough to be a reality series. So tonight, while I was carelessly draped over my couch, thinking of all the things that needed to get done, (studying, laundry, dishes, oh the list goes on and on!), and realizing that worked sucked enough today that my energy, much like my patience, is fading fast, I heard the theme song to one of my favorite reality shows out there, (white trash at its finest,) "Dog, the bounty hunter", I began to think of names for my reality show. So, tell me what you think....and feel free to add your own...

-Megan and Colin + 8 Personalities

-Jones..The gold tooth hunter

-Maddie knows best (and Colin and I don't DARE disagree!!!)

-Flavor of Mac-n-cheese

-The amazing race inside because the damn rain won't stop!!!

-E! True Palm Bay Story

-From Ghetto to Tumbleweeds

-So, you think you can cook a healthy meal in under 20 minutes??

-Screw the Kardashians, try Keeping up with my ever changing hair--no wait, that's not a new color, that's just all the greys coming in!!!

and my favorite...

-Project Run-far far-away!

Hope you liked!

Night,
Megan

A whole day of good!

2008-09-08T09:15:00.003-04:00

Well, those days don't seem to come too often lately. Most days start out good, and some crisis happens, or they start out bad, but end on a pretty good note. For the past 11 years, I have lived by the motto "We don't have bad days, we have bad moments", but let me tell ya, those "bad moments" can lead to more to only get you so worked up that bedtime can't come fast enough!

Also, I have always been a person that sees the glass as half empty, never half full. I have read just about all the self-help books there are, tried to take advise on how to have a more positive attitude, but for some reason, that negative thought will just roll into my head and that's it....you all know what happens next.

Well, Labor day changed all that for me this year. The day started with me having the day off from work, which alone put me in a good mood! Then Maddie, Colin and myself went to my parents house for the traditional pancake breakfast, and even though we didn't eat outside, and their wasn't 100 kids running around, it still felt good to keep this tradition going (a tradition that was started before I was even born!!) Then the kids and I went home (talk about chew and screw!), the kids sat in the nice air conditioned house, while I mowed the lawn. Now, even though it was about 1000 degrees out, I actually liked mowing the lawn because it represented how much better our lives are and that I am finally where I always pictured us to be.

After I mowed the lawn, I got cleaned up and the kids and I decided to go for a bike ride around the neighbor hood. I have to say was is so quiet and nice that we decided to go around twice just because we could. What an awesome feeling it was to be able to ride with the kids and not worry about other kids threading my kids or worrying about what we will see in our travels. It was just nice for me and the kids to do some family time with not a worry in the world.

Our night wrapped up with dinner and then a visit to our new friends/neighbors who live a few housed down. The kids played, we talked, and just enjoyed the beautiful evening. Of course the kids were not too happy when we had to go home, but they were tired (as was I), so we decided it would be showers then we would watch and episode of Dog (our favorite show), then bed, and that is exactly what we did.

I went to bed that night so happy that the kids and I are in a safe neighborhood and grateful that I was given the opportunity by my landlords to have this house. All I kept thinking was "Life is Good!!"

Night,
Meg

The good and the bad

2008-08-26T22:40:00.003-04:00

THE GOOD....

Well, as I sit here in my new (rented) house I am overcome with so much joy. It is so quiet outside, I have room for all of my "stuff" so it doesn't look so cluttered, I have a great big bedroom again, and the kids love it more than words can say. There is no better feeling than coming home and pulling into a driveway and not having to worry about hitting little kids that are running outside (very late at night) because their parents are too lazy to watch them, only to have to fight through a crowd of very loud people, only to go into a house that has such thin walls you can hear every peep of what is going on both inside and outside. I can't say how much I love my new place and my new landlords. I am finally able to get excited about living down here. This is what I thought it would be, and it finally is! I can finally get excited about having visitors because we have plenty of room for them and I am not embarrassed about where we live!

I am also excited to be back in school. It has always been such a great self esteem booster for me, and this time is no different. I have great professors, and my classes are nice and small. Although, I am the oldest one in every class, thats ok, because I love to be there, working towards where I want to be. I also get a kick out of sitting down at the table, doing homework with my kids (although, Maddie wants to do mine!!), finally being the happy family we are, not the unhappy ones that sometimes wonder why we made this move in the first place!

ahhh..life is good

But of course there is THE BAD....

I am so busy, no wait active (how's that Mere) these days that thinking about anything else besides work, my school, the kids school, and unpacking that I barely have time for anything else. And, usually when my head hits the pillow, I am out in a matter of seconds, but the past few nights it's been different. I have been racking my brain on handle a situation with someone. It has been lingering for a while, and I think I finally have to just grow a set and confront this person. Now, usually, I have no problems telling people how I feel, but this is such a strange situation, that I am unclear if this person knows how much she hurt me. I truly believe that this woman is so oblivious to what happened that bringing it up at this point is pretty crazy. I tried to shrug it off and say that it didn't bother me, but as my sister Mary pointed out, if it didn't bother me, then why am I still thinking about it. So, I guess its time to just let her know how hurt I am. I hate this, but I feel that it is the only way for me to get over it.

Well, time to write an e-mail...

-Meg

I am so over it!

2008-08-20T17:30:00.003-04:00

This statement really sums up alot of things in my life right now. I am throwing up my hands and finding the good in everything instead of getting pissed at things I can't control and just take it as it comes.

For example, this damn storm!! It has been going on for over two days and its just getting everything wet! We have floods everywhere, and nobody can drive. Just today, we closed my work early ( its a wonder it was open at all!!), and I hit 7 floods on the way home...ya you heard right 7!!!!! What is usually a 10 minute drive home to my parents (school was cancelled again today!!) turned into 35 minutes, and then I had to park my car and walk to my parents house, through more floods almost up to my knees! All, I kept telling myself was that I can't control this so I just have to be grateful that its not snow!!

Another thing I can't control is not being in the new house yet! I want to be there, and trust me, the kids and I have thought about just going over and sleeping on the floors, but it has just been easier to wait until Friday when I move everything in and then I will be out of the ghetto and onto greener pastures!

The last thing I can't control is school. As I put in an earlier post, I was going to take five courses this semester, but due to me still being a non-resident ( I will be a resident on October 31) my loans would be outrageous and I would be more stressed about that then I would be about my grades, so long story short, I am only taking 3 classes this semester.

Well, that is all and I leave you with this thought to ponder.... every inch of rain is the equivalent of 10 inches of snow, and Melbourne has had 25 inches of rain....do the math!!!!!!

-Meg

December 25th.....twice!!

2008-08-12T11:28:00.002-04:00

Jaime put it best when she said it's like Christmas for me today and then tomorrow! So much happening I can hardly sit still long enough to write this, but I haven't written in so long, I know that its time.

Why all the excitement you ask, well in about an hour and a half my babies will be home with me!!! It has been a long and lonely summer with out them and my heart is aching so much. Plus the fact that the last week they were still up north there were quite a few teary phone calls to me from them (and one from my Melissa) and I would always tell myself that they were having fun..blah blah blah, but I missed them so much. I would pace around my apartment aimlessly because I didn't have anything to do when I wasn't working. But that is all going to change today...yeah!!!!!

The other reason for Christmas is that tomorrow is my inspection for my new house! Most of you know that I hate where I live. I love the inside of my place, I have new rugs, new appliances, and big rooms, but as soon as I walk out my door, I am reminded where I live...the ghetto!! Oh, I hate the noise, I hate most of the people, and I hate that I can't let my kids go outside and play without them getting hurt or used by the other kids. I have hated it for over a year now, and I am ecstatic that it is coming to an end! So, send out all the positive energy you can that I get this house so we can finally be completely happy!

Well, that's all because now its time to pace until the babies get home!

-Meg

sensitive

2008-07-30T16:07:00.003-04:00

As the time away from my babies comes to a close (thank god) I am finding that I am so sensitive these days. I am internalizing everything and taking things that people say WAY too seriously. It is making me realize that I am not the person I used to be. Sure, I make some decitions (of if you rather mistakes) that some people wouldn't agree with or make themselves, but I am a grown woman, who is living her life the best I can. I can not, and will not change the person I am...it has taken me eleven years to finally realize that I like who I have become. Situations may change around me, but who I am on the inside is a good person who is blunt, generous, and generally happy and I will not let anyone make me feel less of person due to these character traits.

I guess I should say that this epifiny (if you will) is coming from an entry in another blog that I read regulary. I thought this person was a friend, but I am now realizing that differently, and as surprising as it sounds, I am ok with it. I am finally at a stage in my life that I no longer need to be surrounded by "friends", I just need that those two or three that I can call, day or night, good or bad, and they will be there. I have four of those people in my life right now, and they are the most patient, kind and wonderful people I know. They keep me grounded and tell me what I need to hear, which is not always what I want to hear. Although, sometimes they annoy me, or make me crazy, I know that at the end of the day, they are there for me for support, laughter and tears, and quite honestly, I have no idea how I could get by without them. I sometimes wonder if they know how much they mean to me, If they realize that just the simple fact that they don't judge me based on my decitions means the world to me, and just knowing that they see me as a woman with morals, respect and integrity helps me feel like I can take on the world and not be scared to do it!

So, to J,K,C,&S thank you for EVERYTHING!!

-Meg

I am certifiably insane!

2008-07-17T12:26:00.002-04:00

One of the main reasons my parents took the kids this summer up to NH was so I could bang out as much school as I could. Well, due to circumstances beyond my control, I was not able to do that. But, I know that I need to really go full force in the fall, which is what my intention was.

Well, let me explain the situation in as little words as possible. I have my AS from BHCC, but in order to get into UCF, I need my AA (which I can receive from Brevard Community Collage), so that entails me taking a few extra classes, and then starting at UCF in December. Well, I finally got all my paperwork (there was a bunch coming from Boston) and headed out to BCC to turn in my paperwork and find out when I can register. Well after waiting in a monster line, I found out I was all set to register, I just had to talk to an advisor to see what classes from BHCC will plug in. Now, I knew some classes wouldn't work, but I was only anticipating 2 or 3 classes. So after sitting and waiting for an advisor (for 2.5 hours) I found out how many classes I would need......5!!!!!

Well, I left there feeling crushed that this was not going to be easy, but after ALOT of thinking, I decided to tackle this will full force and take the classes in the fall. I knew that my school schedule could be arranged so that I could still have plenty of time to work, and time for the kids, but my time will definitely be limited. I just have to remember that this is for the good of our family and the end result will be more time for all of in the long run.

So, for whoever is wondering, I will be pretty much out of contact from the months between September through mid December...haha. I figure sleep is a luxury, so it will also be taken out of the equation! But, the one thing I do know is that I can do this, and succeed at it. I just keep telling myself that even though I won't see my kids as much as I would like, the ultimate prize is worth this very tough semester and I only hope Maddie and Colin won't require too much therapy after it!!

-Meg

good-bye snowbirds!

2008-07-12T11:14:00.002-04:00

So, here I am, living in FL, which is basically snowbird capital of the world. From the months between October and May (about) this state is bombarded with more senior citizens then one can imagine. They are all over the place, almost like a troop that goes to war and takes over a village, except with a lot less violence. Now, don't get me wrong, I knew that moving down here would entitle that (hell, my parents are snowbirds), but even throughout my first year here I had no idea how many people retire here to go up north in the summers, until this summer hit!

I work at a retail store that is basiclly a snowbird heaven! We have all the crafting supplies ones heart desires, and lets be frank, once most people retire, they decide its time to get crafty. I can remember when there would be a big sale going on at my store the place would be insane. I couldn't walk to the bathroom (which is in the back of the store) without getting stopped fifteen times to help get something or direct someone in the right direction. I was frustrating, but hey that is what I signed up for (plus I think my mom and aunt wanted the discount to the store as well..haha).

Well, since it is the summer, and teaching jobs are too far away (gas prices!) I have been working alot at the store. Now, on any given night (I only work the closing shift) I am not done with my work until at least a half hour AFTER the store closes, but not now. I was there on Wed. night and I actually got to leave an hour early! Why you ask, because all the snowbirds have gone up north (or wherever) and there is so little to do! I was extatic to leave early and get home at a normal time.

I know that once the fall comes back, than we will be back to norm....slow drivers, longer lines at stores, and my store getting trashed, but for now I am enjoying it.

Meg

gone again!

2008-07-09T10:12:00.003-04:00

Well, the title says it all. Yesterday morning, at 4:30a.m. I had to say good-bye to my babies again and I won't see them again for four more weeks. It was heart wrenching (again) to say good-bye and there were a lot of tears, but I am so glad that I had my time with them to give me the charge to get me through the rest of the summer.

All and all, my visit was wonderful and here is why:

-Seeing fat and cute Kylie as well as Paige, Micheal, and Stinky, who all seemed so much taller to me!
-Having talks in person, which mean so much more than those over the phone
-Going out on the boat!
-Watching a lifetime supply of Kama's world famous brownies disappear in a matter of days!
-A real steak and cheese (thank you Melissa!!!!) and having real seafood!
-Being a big goof with Jaime, once again, more fun in person than over the phone!
-Spending time with Shaun and Julie and their zip code and realizing why I love kids, but I don't want anymore of my own!!!
-Playing texas hold'em with the Sullivans and staying in longer than most!
-and most importantly, kissing and hugging my babies anytime I want!

There was so much more, but these were the highlights of my trip. I also am happy to report that I made it on the airplane, both ways, and I didn't have the big one! See, mom, I am a big girl now!! haha! If I didn't see you, I am sorry, but I am surprised I had time to sleep I was so busy. Now, its just a countdown until my babies get home. So until then, I will just keep working my tail off to try to pass the time.

And on a side note, after my plane landed yesterday, and the pilot gave us the OK to turn on our cell phones, I turned my on and not even a minute later, my boss called me and asked me to go into work. So, I ran home, threw in a load of laundry, and off to work I went! Who would have thought that I could be a such a work-a-holic!

-meg

It sunk in!

2008-06-27T07:36:00.002-04:00

I MISS MY BABIES! There, I said it. Maddie and Colin have been gone for over 4 weeks and I am dying! I am counting down the minutes until Tuesday when I am flying to Boston to see them.

Now, anyone who knows anything about me knows that it has been me and them, against the world, for the past 9 years. I don't see their father, so I am not one of the lucky, every other weekend off single parents. Yes, I have always plenty of babysitters if I need them (and lord knows I needed them!!), but I was never away from my babies more than an overnight, or the occational weekend. Which always seemed like just long enough for all of us. By the time I saw them we missed eachother just enough to be happy to see eachother, but not enough to cause tears and distress.

Well, last summer was the ultimate test for the three of us. My dad and I came down to florida for two weeks so I could get everything set up for me and the babies. I had only two weeks to find a place to live, get a job, and somewhat learn my way around before I came down here by myself with the babies. Well, needless to say, since I had Bob Jones with me, we got it ALL done four days before we had to go home. But, I was missing the babies one week into that trip, and when we finally got home, my mom couldn't get to airport fast enough, and when she did, I couldn't keep my hands off my babies I missed them so much. I had no idea how much my heart was going to hurt being away from them for two whole weeks.

Well, when my parents asked me about taking the kids for the summer up north for the summer, I thought that it would be good for them and for me. I wouldn't have to worry about child care, and I would be able to work my ass off. Well, I had NO idea how much I would miss them or how lonely I would be. Sure, at first I was nice to sleep late, go where I wanted, when I wanted, without the constant "can I get this?", but now, after all this time, I am dying! And the teary phone calls from them arn't helping. I know that they have been having a blast seeing thier cousins. aunts, uncles, and friends they haven't seen all year, and that makes me feel better, but I am still missing them so much that I am ok with taking a plane (which everyone knows how much I hate that) just to hug and kiss them.

I know that the week I spend up north is going to go by too quickly, but I am hoping that it will help all of us get through the rest of the summer. I can honestly say that I had no idea how much I would miss them, but I find piece of mind knowing that they are having the time of thier lives!

I love and miss you Maddie and Colin!

-Meg

too long

2008-06-17T17:27:00.003-04:00

Well, I know it's been a while, but things have gone from crazy to absolute insane in the past few weeks, that I don't know weather to stratch my watch or wind my butt! It makes me so thankful for my vaca because I think it gave me the recharge that I needed to make me keep going. So, here is a recap to all that has happened...

Maddie and Colin did very well on their last report cards, and they were promoted to 4th (OMG) grade! It is so hard to believe that they are already there. I know it sounds clishe, but it really does feel like yesterday I was bringing them home from the hospital and they were so dependent on me. Now they are so independent and can do so much for themselves, it makes me feel so un-needed!! I know this is so far from the truth, and anyone who has seen my kids know this is far from reality, I still feel like they are growing too fast and I want to pause time so I can enjoy them longer. I am saying this, too, as they are sitting in Kingston NH with my parents for 7 weeks and I am in Florida, unable to kiss them goodnight. I know that they are in great hands, and they are seeing everyone who they miss, but I miss them tremendously and the summer can't end fast enough! But, I will be going home visit on July 1 to visit. Now, I am so scared about flying alone (trust me, I was trying to get on a train instead), but its to see my babies and all my friends so I will try to get through the flight without having a nervous breakdown. Don't get me wrong, there will be some tears, and maybe even some blubbering, but other then that I will think about where I am going and who I am going to see; my babies, my new neice as well as her brother and sister, my new godson and his mom, and my freinds and family I haven't seen in a year, that it should help me get through the flight!!

Well, the other big news is that I have found my house I am going to rent at the end of july. Most of you know how much I hate where I live. And in my defense, I viewed the complex on a Wed. afternoon at 1:00ish, so I had no idea what is was like once the sun went down, and let me tell you, it ain't pretty!! I hate my neighbors, I hate thier friends, and I hate the location of my apartment! But, thankfully, I will be renting a great house in a great location and my only concern is how I am I going to get enough furniture to fill it, as opposed to worring if my car is going to get stolen or if I am going to be woken up at 3:00 a.m. by the cops breaking up a fight! So, only a few more weeks and I am hoping it will all work out...keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer that it does.

Now, the last piece of news is that my sister is down here with me. I would love to say that it is a visit to see her baby sister, but it is a "business trip". She and her husband just bought a house down here for them to move into in about 2 years. The house is great and I am so excited for them. I have been helping her as much as I can this week, but she has been hauling ass, and quite frankly I am really impressed! She leaves on Saturday (tear) but we are spending so much time together, and even though she gets pissed at me pretty easily, I will miss her when she is gone. I don't know which is worse, not seeing someone for a year, like my sister Melissa, or seeing for a short time and having to say goodbye, like my other sisters Mary and Meredith. Well either way, it sucks not having family around all the time, and this summer is making me see just how much I love my family and how much I want to see them!

Well, my wrists are starting to hurt (I am not used to the laptop yet, Mere!!) so thats it. I will be checking in more now that I am not so busy, so until next time...

Meg

What a Life!!

2008-05-24T17:14:00.006-04:00

That is really all that can be said about the last week!

My sister, Meredith, my SIL Jess and their children came into town on Monday. Well, they wanted to do some "tourist attractions" while they were here, and the kids and I were lucky enough to go along for the ride! We were excited not only to see them, but being able to experience so much with them, just made it even better than we could have imagined.

So, here is a rundown of the week:

Monday: We arrived at their resort in the evening, took the kids for a swim, and hit the sack early because we had a big day on Tuesday....

Tuesday: We got to Discovery Cove around 8:30, checked in, and began our day. This place it UNBELIEVABLE(when you get the chance, google it to see!)!! We floated down the lazy river, did some snorkeling, swam with sting rays and other tropical fish, and Colin and Sydney got to swim with a dolphin named coral!

Wednesday: We headed out early to Sea World. Colin and Auntie Meredith headed to Krackin (an extreme roller coaster), while Auntie Jess and the girls headed to face painting. We went on some more rides, saw the shamu show (it was amazing), and then headed to Epcot. The girls went to the process dinner (Jaime, we have to go to this one in January), while Colin and I spent some quality time with Layne (even though she was a little cranky!). We ended the day with the fireworks show (my favorite of all the parks). We got home late and decided that we would sleep since the day was so crazy.

Thursday: Day 2 at sea world, and we decided to do all the things we missed the day before. We saw a dolphin show (awesome), a seal and walrus show (hysterical), went on some more rides, then headed out early and went for a swim at the resort. That evening Maddie and Sydney (Colin was asleep) got to see the fireworks from our balcony. They thought this was just amazing

Friday: We headed to Animal Kingdom. We went on (more) rides, let layne reconnect with her monkey roots (haha), and then we went to see the Lion King show. It was an amazing show, and the best part was that the kids got to be in it! I was actually surprised because usually Maddie and Colin aren't into that (they are so flipping shy!) but we had front row seats, so Maddie, Colin, and Sydney all got picked. Well, we then got great seats for the parade, but a thunder storm started to roll in, so they started the parade early and then we watched it fly by...it basically went by so fast that we barely got to see what was in it! Well, just as it ended, the rain started to come down HARD!! We ran into "It's tough to be a bug" show. I was thinking the rain would stop by then, but it didn't and it continued to rain the whole time we were in a gift shop and through the whole walk to the front. When we finally made it to the rain forest cafe at the gates of the park, the rain had let up, but unfortunately, we were all soaked. We got some new shirts and we were as good as new. We wrapped our day, thanks to Colin, by laughing all the way from the door of the restaurant to the resort. The kid is so funny and since he has a new audience, he does even more (Maddie and I are so used to him!!)

Well, that was our week. It was busy, crazy, and so incredible!! My kids got to do things I would have never even thought of (not to mention the fact that they got spoiled beyond belief!!!). This was definatlty a trip that we will never forget (thanks Mere and Jess!!)

By the By, anyone who wants to see pics of this unreal trip, just hop over to my myspace page (myspace.com/megsymo22) and see all the pics!

-Meg

Are you kidding me?????

2008-05-13T10:10:00.003-04:00

Yesterday started like a normal day. I didn't have a school to go to, so I took advantage of not having the kids (they went to Disney world with Grama and Pepere) and I slept in. I sat on my couch and had my coffee and watched what I wanted on the T.V. without any interruptions. I then headed out to the grocery store, alone, to pick up a few things, and then I headed home to watch my soap because I didn't have to work at my other job. Quite frankly, I was pretty excited to have a night that I could just chill all night.

As I was driving home from the grocery store, I noticed some smoke in the sky. Now I had heard the night before that there were fires in Palm Bay (my city), but it was on the other side of the city, so I was not too worried. I just figured that they were not fully out and this was just the aftermath of what had happened. In all honesty, I didn't think I had a reason to worry.

Well, when I got home and tried to turn on my soap is when I realized how serious this is. My soap was not on because they were covering the fires, and I saw an Ariel shot of a school that is about three miles from my house. There were fires breaking out all over the place, schools were being evacuated, and because of winds, the fire crews were having a hard time keeping it under control. I was getting worried at this point, but panic had not set in yet. At about 3ish, my complex manager called me (because she knew I was new here) and told me to get together an evacuation bag, "just in case". Since I had no idea what that entailed, I called my friend, who is from Melbourne, what I needed. I mean, seriously, I am from Boston and I know how to prepare for a snow storm, hell, give me 20 feet of snow and I know I need to buy milk and bread, and prepare not to leave the house. But an evacuation bag? I need to gather paperwork, pictures, a change of clothes, and make sure it all fits in one bag, because if they are busing us then you can't pack up your whole house. So, still being convinced that I was going to be o.k. I packed the bag and sat in front of the t.v.

Then at about 4:45ish my friend called me and told me to walk out my door and look to the back. I saw black smoke and the tips of flames. There was a fire right behind my complex! I ran into the house to turn on the news and I found out there was about three reported fires and still more that haven't been reported yet. Now is when the fear set in. I called my dad (not sure why) and told him what was going on. I think I just need him to tell me not to worry and just do what they tell me to do. I then proceeded to just make calls because I was alone and completely freaking out! Then at 6:00 we lost power. I made a frantic phone call to my friend, and he told me to just go to his house, that his wife was there, and to just calm down. HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!! I was not prepared for this. I was told that when the hurricanes come, things like this happen, but this is not hurricane season and this is not a HURRICANE! I passed, I asked the same questions over and over, I tried to make small talk, and mostly I tried not to feed into the urge to pack up and drive myself right back to Boston!! I just kept telling myself that I have to do what I need to do and just not panic.

Well, after all was said and done, by the time I had gotten home, around 8:30ish (I had been at another friends house who still had power), we had power back and they were reporting there were 18 fires, and there were even more this morning. More than 70 homes were either destroyed or damaged. And because of the winds that we were having, embers were starting more. Churches and schools were filled with people who have lost everything. And as I hear the news in the back ground, they are reporting that there are even more fires and even more people who will be evacuated. Schools are cancelled today, and possibly tomorrow. They are saying that it is arson, and declared it is a state of emergency.

Even though this was not something I was prepared for and I had no idea what to do, I have to say that I was grateful I am not an ultra shy person and I was able to make such good friends who talked me down off the cliff. And, even though, I never thought I would say it, I am grateful that I still have my house to go to (pretty crazy, huh Jaime!). This just made me realize that you never know what can happen so be grateful for all that you have!!

-Meg

so true, so friggen true!

2008-05-12T11:39:00.003-04:00

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be about a hundred things when I "grew up". I wanted to be everything from a nurse to the president. As the years went by, my list grew shorter and shorter and by the time I was in high school, I just wanted to graduate and be done with school altogether!

Then, on December 30, 1998 everything changed. I had by babies and I knew that bouncing from job to job was no longer going to cut it for me (or them) and I knew I had to make a decition. Well, after alot of thinking, I decided that I should be a nurse. It wasn't the work that worried me, it was the thought of blood that totally grossed me out. That is when my very (sometimes too) honest mother told me "Megan, you will make a terrible nurse, why don't you do what you always wanted to do, be a teacher" and that is when my journey began.

I enrolled in college, began taking classes, got my degree, and actually did quite well. I began working at daycare centers (which I loved), but I realized I still had more work to do. I am now going to school to further my education and get my next degree, but in the meantime, I am still working in the eduation field as a subtitute teacher (as I mentioned in another blog).

Well, when I was at a school last week, on of the teachers handed out this e-mail she got and I know that I am meant to be in this field because fully understood this e-mail and agreed with the whole thing.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.....

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE A TEACHER? By Jeff Foxworthy

1. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.
3. You walk into a store and hear the words "It's Ms/Mr. _________" and know you have been spotted.
4. You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes.
6. You've trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day: lunch and prep period.
7. You start saving other people's trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
8. You believe the teachers' lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
9. You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off."
10. You believe chocolate is a food group.
11. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
17. You can't pass the school supply aisle without getting at least five items!
18. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was a "good choice or a bad choice."
19. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils
20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.
And finally,
21. You understand instantly why a child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her parents.

-Meg

Finally!!!

2008-05-07T21:38:00.003-04:00

So, let me paint a picture for you...Its the first game of the season, I can only stay for the first 15 minutes, and becuase the coach was so great, Colin was up first. As he walks to the plate, I can see the fear in his eyes and the nervous quiver of his bottom lip. This was, after all, the first time he was going to be playing "machine pitch" baseball. The first pitch comes in at a high speed, he gets in position, keeps his eyes on the ball, swings and the ball goes flying into center field!! As he is barreling around the bases (and in between my screams and jumps) I see the happieness on his face because of the great play he just made! And this was the scene at every game, and this just made his love of the game grow more and more.

Now, fast foward one year. After two weeks of greuling practices, the day before his first game, he breaks his foot, and the doctor says the cast stays on for four weeks, and then as if that wasn't bad enough, he wasn't allowed to start to play for another three weeks, but wait, on the day he can finally play again, we begin spring break so that is another week off. So after 8 weeks of not playing, he is finally ready to get into the game and show why his nickname back home was Manny, because he hit the ball so far that he could sit and admire his work before beginning to run the bases.

So, we had game number 1 back...a walk and a strike out (no contact), game 2 back....a walk and a strike (no contact), game 3 back...a walk and a strike (no contact). Well, you get the drift. Let me say, this made for a very sad little boy and many rides home with constant encouragements (from me and Maddie).

But on Saturdays game, that all changed. Pepere had been practicing with him and helping him feel more compfortable with his bat and his stance, so he got up to the plate ready to do some damage. But all the swinging and warming up was to no avail, he struck out. Then, at his second time up at bat, he got had two strikes, and no balls, and it looked like it was going to end badly....but that one ball that he had been waiting for came in. He kept his eye on it, swung, and nailed it to the first base line...finally, he made contact!!!!!!! So what if it didn't go into center field for a home run, he got a single and he never looked so happy. It was just what he needed to get his confidence back and to help him remember why he loves this game so much! His smile was ear to ear the whole ride home.

But of course it wasn't me who he wanted to talk to about it, it was Pepere who he couldn't wait to tell (Pepere had to leave the game early!)

Go Figure!

-Meg

My new Job(s)

2008-04-30T20:09:00.005-04:00

So, recently I have become a substitute teacher here in wonderful Brevard County and I love it. Even though I had to take a little pay cut, it is worth it because I see my kids more, and I can take off a day if the need presents itself. I also really love the variety of schools I get to be in so I can really figure out where I want to eventually teach. Now when I say varity, I don't just mean different Elementry schools, I mean I have been in just about every grade from Kindergarden to High school. Now, today I was with 5th grade and having two children in 3rd grade, it really inspired me to do this top 5 that I am going to give you today. Now keep in mind I have heard each of these things at least once, if not more!

Top 5 things I would kill my children if they ever said to a teacher:

5. You drive that car?? (So, it's not a BMW, but it has character!!)
4. You are the prettiest sub I have ever seen!
(said by a 10th grader who thought I had an affect on his grade!!)
3. You can't tell my what to do! (to which I responded "yes I can and I will!")
2. Why arn't we allowed to swear as long as we don't say the "f" word?
(are you f**king kidding me!!)
1. You are the WORST and MEANEST sub I have ever had!
(this was said after I gave out a detention)

Now, some people might be hurt by these things, but after talking to other teachers about what I had heard, I was assured that this shows I am doing exactly what I should be doing....not allowing the kids to walk all over me!

Ahh..what fun!!

good night,
meg

O.K....I am going to try this one more time!!

2008-04-24T19:16:00.003-04:00

o.k...I know I have said this before, but this time I mean it...I am blogging again and I am going to try to do it as often as possible. I figure this is the time I should be doing it...after all, I am far, far away from my family/friends and I really need to keep them up to date with my crazy/insane life seeing I never pick up the damn phone and use it (right, Kama/Melissa/Melody/Jaime..oh the list goes on and on!!) So I thought I would do a few of my famous top 5's. These reflect my life over the past month...

Top 5 reasons I love Disney (this is for you Jaime!!)

5. The coolest toys on the planet (even though you have to give them your right foot in exchange)
4. The employees...I do suspect they are all getting some kind of drugs on the side in order to keep them happy
3. Tinkerbell Flying..nuff said
2. The parades..these beat out anything else you ever saw
1. Tower of Terror...love this ride even more now cuz my kids love it more!!

Top 5 things I have been told as a Substitute Teacher:

5. "Wow, you look so young Miss Jones" ( this is when I remind them that I have nothing to do with their grade)
4. "Why do you talk so funny?"
3. "Why can't we swear?"
2. "Our teacher usually just lets us talk if we don't want to do the assignment"
1. "Why are you so mean?"

Well, that just about describes the last month of my life...substitute teaching and doing "extreme disney"!!! I love them both for all the insanity and chaos they provide in my life, and without it I don't think I could function!

Well, I will be back soon...I really promise this time,
Meg

Music Lyrics

2007-12-02T19:53:00.000-05:00

O.k...so anyone who knows me knows how much I love music. I love all types from Country to Gangster Rap and all in between! But most recently I have come to love my "Jesus Music". Its a local Cristian station that I listen to when I feel I have had a very "sinful" day.

Not the funniest thing about all of this is that even though I can dance, meaning I have rythem, and I can boogie all night, I don't have a musical bone in my body. My extent of playing any musical instruments is playing 'Heart and Soul' on the piano, and I can't hold a note a bucket! As the matter of fact, my family finds great joy in making fun of me when I do try to sing....they are such a sweet bunch.

Well, I decided to make this top 5 about my favorite song lyrics. O.K., I admit that I am so self-absorbed that I have believed (more than once) that a song on the radio was written about me. I know it sounds crazy, but I know I am not alone in thinking this!

Now, here is the tricky thing, how many of you can pick out what song the lyrics go to? Leave me a comment and I will let you know who is right in my next blog!

So now that I have given a little background, here goes:

5. "You want it all but you can't have it"
4. "I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine"
3. "Cuz you ain't never seen a fire like the one i'ma cause"
2. "Don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem"
1. I fell too far, was in way too deep. Guess I let you get the best of me."

Well, see how good you are at your music trivia!

Good night,
Megan

Christmas!

2007-11-29T18:38:00.000-05:00

Man, do I hate this time of year!

Everybody is running around trying to get the "perfect" gift for everyone on their list, which is too long in the first place! And then the guilt of not having spent enough kicks in and before you know it, you have gone into such severe dept that you are lucky you have a house to live in!!

I also used to hate the cold that came along with the season, I am doing better this year because its nice and warm down here. But come on, there is nothing worse than having to endure the cold weather, shoveling, and trying to walk in the slush!

And, my biggest pet peeve is the inability to wish anyone any specific holiday! It is not longer P.C. to say Merry Christmas or Happy Hanaka (or however you spell it), all you can say is happy holidays in order to keep everyone happy! Seriously, people, who the hell cares who you are insulting by saying the wrong pleasentry, at least you are saying something nice and not telling them to f**k off!!!!

Well, since I hate this time of year, I figured I would make a top 5 list on what I do like about this time of year...and trust me, I was racking my brain to come up with it, but here goes!

Top 5 reasons I like the christmas season:

5. The christmas specials--LOVE THEM!!
4. My mothers disney village--too cute
3. The threats to my children about having to call santa!
2. The christmas songs--I know its corney, but I really enjoy them
1. The christmas lights--fill up my tank and I could drive all night looking at them!

Well, I hope you enjoyed and until next time!
meg

Thanksgiving

2007-11-21T20:21:00.000-05:00

Now...since it is thanksgiving I have decided to put up a top 5 as to why I love this holiday. This one that is sentimental and it is part of an e-mail that I got a few years ago. I don't get like this often, but this year I am away from most of my family, so although it is hard for me, as well as the family I am away from, I like to believe that there is still so much to be thankful for. So I hope you all enjoy!

What I am thankful for:

5. I am thankful that there is a mess in my childrens rooms because it reminds me that my children are having fun.

4. I am thankful for my my high electric bill because it means that I have a house to live in.

3. I am thankful for my clothes that are getting tight because it means I have money for food.

2. I am thankful for not getting a parking spot close to the door of a store because it reminds me that I have legs to walk with.

1. I am thankful for a sink full of dirty dishes because it reminds me that I have a house full of family and friends that I love!!

I hope you liked it and have a good holiday everyone!

Night,
Meg

I'm back

2007-11-20T08:28:00.000-05:00

o.k....so I am back! It took a while, but I am finally back to my blog. Did ya all miss me?? I know you did!

Well, now that I am residing in the beautuful state of florida, I figured I would give you all a top 5 list of what I see most of here in my new casa!!

Here goes:

5. Chain Stores--every one you could possibly imagine!!
4. Golf Courses--what else to the old folks have to do!
3. Dollar Stores--every kind, name, shape and form
2. Lakes--Florida Motto: dig a hole, build a lake!
and the mose common thing I see here in Florida is...
1. GOLD TEETH--no matter what your age, sex or color is, everyone has at least one (I haven't gotten mine yet, but its just a matter of time!!j/k)

Well thats all, and I am going to do my best to keep up with this!

Have a great day,
Meg

miss me???

2007-03-23T09:33:00.000-04:00

Well, once again its been a while since I have blogged and most of my readers have probably given up on me, but have no fear, I'M BAAAAAAACK!!!

Why the hold up you ask...well first of all, my computer is running slower than dial up, so I have not had the patience for it. Which leads me to number two reason, blogger has updated and it takes a while on a regular computer, but on mine its ridiculously long.

So those are the reasons I have been gone...but I am going to jump right into a new and exciting blog for your reading pleasure. Here is the deal...my sister blogs everyday. She puts up pictures and adds and other stuff. My other sister blogs almost as often and she also puts up pictures and adds, etc. Now my other sister doesn't blog and I'm not sure why...but that's neither here nor there. I can't for the life of me find something to blog about every day unless I have a topic. Now most of you know that I used to do the shit list, but that didn't last too long because of my multi-personality computer, and because I didn't always have time to sit and type, etc. So I have come up with a new idea....I will model it after David Letterman and instead of top 10 (I don't have a team of writers working for me) I will do my daily top 5.

Now these could be anything from songs to movies to people I hate...it could be anything that goes through my sick twisted brain! With that said, here is today's:

TOP 5 REASONS MASSACHUSETTS MAKES ME CRAZY

1. The drivers--enough said
2. What other state gets snow on Friday, and the following Friday its 60 degrees!
3. While I am on the subject of snow and warm weather, not only does slush make a
big mess everywhere and gets your clothes and shoes dirty, but with all the plows
they have out during a snow storm to remove the snow, couldn't they take half of
them and have them remove the slush?? How hard would that be??
4. Potholes that never seem to get fixed, and when you try to drive around them you
almost cause and accident, but if you don't you get a flat or you need a new
alignment!!!!
5. Even though there is a dunkin donuts on every friggen corner (there are 4 that
are walking distance from my house), at 7:30 on any given morning the line is out
the door AT EVERY ONE!!!!!

Talk to ya,
Meg

The Same Thing

2006-12-12T20:31:00.000-05:00

Well, today will be my shitlist. I know some of you have been missing it, so here is a real doozie for all who read....

Here is what happened...I walked into work today (I start my second job at 2pm) and my two of my co-workers, one float and the other is the assistant in my room, were sitting there talking (per usual) as the kids were waking from their naps. I went to grab the daily sheets, as I do every day (even though I am not there all day) and began to fill them out. As I begin, the assistant says to me "Isabelle's mother left you a gift today". So, I picked up the gift and inside was a very nice note and a $25 gift card to bath and body. Needless to say, I was very shocked because I have only been there a few months, and I am only there for a few hours in the afternoon, and I didn't expect such a nice gift.

Well, the look on my face must have said it all, because lazy and lazier were all over me to ask me what I got. That is when it happened, in unison they both responded "We got the same thing!". Not only were they very clearly pissed, but as I started to fill in the daily sheets I had just started, they started speaking in Spanish to eachother. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Now, at first I was pissed, but then I had to really think about the situation. Even though I have only been there 2 months, I know that I have made an impact on the kids as well as parents I see. I always try to say a few words to the parents about their child's day instead of just letting their child run out the door to them. And when it comes to the kids, if they are playing at the table, I will play a game with them, or if they are getting a little crazy, I will sit down and read a book or sing a song or whatever in order to calm them down. I don't just yell at them and get irritated with them (like some people). I know that they think that it is easier for me because I don't get there until 2 (as I have been told), but I spend the whole morning with 10 toddlers as well as all afternoon with 9. So, contrary to popular belief, I do, in fact, put in a whole day.

So, in case you didn't pick up on it, these two co-workers are on today's shit list. Actually, they have been running a close second for a while now, but today they just really pissed me off, so they are number one!!

Have a good night and I hope you all enjoyed..

Meg

tagged

2006-12-09T21:30:00.000-05:00

Well, Mary tagged me.. so here goes

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? egg nog

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? wrapped..is there any other way??

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? I like white...but I have colored for the kids

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Depends on who I am expecting (wink, wink!)

5. When do you put up your decorations? the week before christmas...and my decorations only consist of a tree!

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Christmas Cookies

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? When I got my baby that crawled when I was in the third grade

8. When and how did you learn that Santa isn't real? My sister Meredith told me and I was in the 4th grade (I tried to stretch it as long as I could!!)

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? I open all of them at my sisters house

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree. I don't decorate, Maddie and Colin do, and that means all the ornaments are on three branches on the bottom!

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? HATE IT!!!

12. Can you ice skate? no, but I rock on roller skates!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? there is a few...my baby that crawled, my digital camera from my sisters, my palm pilot from my parents, my tiffany's bracelet from 2 friends, and (most of all) body wash from my babies!!

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Watching my babies open the one gift they asked santa for!

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Peanut butter cookies

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Having my parents, mary, joe and stephanie over for christmas breakfast!

17. What tops your tree? I am supposed to put something up there??

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving gifts? giving..and receiving!

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Santa Clause is coming to town

20. Candy Canes on the tree? No...because colin eats them all!!

I am tagging anyone who reads this...just leave it in my comment box

The birth of the "Joeism"

2006-12-09T21:00:00.000-05:00

My brother-in-law Joe is the inspiration for this blog today, and will be for many to follow. He can take a random phrase or even a word that he hears from one of his nieces, nephews, children, even his wife and apply it at just the right time that you want to kill him, but after you have pissed your pants laughing at him.

Now there are many of his sayings that I thoroughly enjoy. Some I hear in a story my sister will tell me, or sometimes I will hear it from him (usually when my sister is yelling at him for some silly reason). Whenever I do hear it, I ususally laugh long and hard about it.

I have decided that the one I am going to introduce you all to is the phrase that he uses fairly often, and my children now use it..."Lee me lone"--translation Leave me alone. Now this originated from Joe's sons sister, Kiera, and she actually used to say "Lee kiera lone". My sister told me a story of Joe and this phrase over the summer and everytime I think of it I laugh!!.

Joe was in the shower, wet and soapy--wait, that info is for another blog (haha), and Mary had to get something in the bathroom. She very causally opened the door and was in the middle of telling him she was just grabbing something and she hears from the shower "lee me lone!!". Now, when she told me she was annoyed that he said that to her, but I just found it so funny that as I am typing the story I am crying from laughing!!

That is just one example, and there will definitely be more to come..I hope you all find it as humorous and enjoyable as me!

Good night,
Meg

Opening Doors

2006-12-03T08:39:00.000-05:00

I know...I have not been here for my list lately, but with the Christmas season upon us and my damn sister introducing me to digi-scrapping (ya, I have reached a new level of dorkness!!) I have not had time for anything!

But, not too worry, In the past week and a half since I have been gone I have witnessed the same behavior among many people that they have all earned themselves a spot on my list. I know that everyone has encountered these kind of people too, so all will enjoy this entry!

How many times are you walking into a Dunkin Donuts/starbucks/etc. (time of day is insignificant) and somebody else is walking out. Now, most likely they will have a few things in their hand, so you do the polite thing and hold the door for them, right. Now I would have to guess that only about 25% of the time the person says "Thank You". Rude:yes, but not the person on my list today. The person on my list today is the one who see you walking out of Dunkin Donuts/
starbucks/etc. with your treats and they will not only not hold the door, but will rush to get in before you!

Lets put this into perspective, shall we: they are on their way to get a Cup of coffee (or whatever). For them to wait an extra 3 seconds will not make them wait anymore in line. It will not make them late for work, or wherever they are going, and it will certainly not kill them to practice a random act of kindness. It will only help out someone else who possibly has their hands full.

So, this is my latest member on my shit list. I have also decided that since there are some days where I don't get pissed off at anyone (hard to believe, I know), those days I will simply put a "Joeism". Definition and example to follow!

Have a good Sunday,
Meg

Holidays

2006-11-24T17:22:00.000-05:00

Ya, Ya..I know it's been a few days, but its the holiday season, so I will apologize now just in case I missed a day.
Now, on to my list....

I really had to think about this one today because (suprisingly enough) not too many people have piss me off lately. I'm not sure if it is due to the fact that my head has been way up my own ass, or that people are really getting into the holiday spririt or what, but its been a while.

I mean sure, there has been the occational person that I have run into that makes me wish it was the old west and we could just shoot people for fun. There have also been friends of mine who I really can't stand, but as I said, not too many who have pissed me off enough to spend my time writing about them.

So, I am truly sorry to disappoint you all, but there will be no new member on the list today...But in the words of little orphan Annie "There's always tomorrow"!!

Good Night,
-Meg

A Real Job

2006-11-20T13:20:00.000-05:00

So, I think now that my computer is finally working, maybe I can get through a whole blog without a pop-up. Lets just all pause for a moment and pray for that to happen.

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, on to the list. I was at a party for a friends two children yesterday and one of the party goers gets the award this time. I will not name any names, because I don't want to offend anyone, but I know who the person is and that is what's important!!

You all know that I am a teacher. I teach two separate groups of toddlers at two different locations. Some may not consider this being a real teacher because we don't give out report cards, but I will state for the record that my job is more that just coloring and changing diapers everyday. I plan curriculums, interact with parents, and do my best to teach age appropiate games that will result in the child learning. Hmm, sounds like the same thing that a 9th grade teacher may do (minus the game).

So here is what happened. A person at the party was speaking with someone else about being a nanny. The nanny said that she didn't like it because of the kids, but the money always sucked her back in. Well, at that the non-nanny said "I just convinced (name is protected) to quit her job at the day care and get a real job at a bank. I mean, you can only roll around on the floor with kids for so long before you want to get a real job".

O.K. it was all I could do to keep from jumping on my soap box and calling this bitch out, but out of respect for the other people there, and due to the fact that I wasn't even a part of conversation, I just kept my mouth shut. But, it made me realize that there are so many close minded people in this world. It amazes me that after all this time and all the info on day care, people still believe that 1. daycare teachers only "roll around on the floor all day with the kids" and 2. that just because we are doing this, we have no education or even a brain for that matter.

Well, needless to say, I remained as pleasant as I could for the rest of the party, but I left there as soon as I could, out of fear of saying something that I may regret.

Well, off to work at my non-real job

-Meg

This Sucks

2006-11-16T06:55:00.000-05:00

I know this is the morning and there was supposed to be a post here last night, but my computer sucks and it wouldn't post and in my frustration I gave up and went to bed. Now I am here way to early in the morning trying to blog, working on only a half a cup of coffee, and I am getting these stupid pop-ups every 2 seconds and I am not even sure if this is going to work. Hopefully it will.

Lurk

2006-11-14T20:48:00.000-05:00

So, I tried to look up the meaning of "Lurker" to put on today's blog, but my computer wasn't working right, so I will give my definitation as it relates to my blog. "Persons who will read a blog everyday but will not comment EVER!!!"

Now, I am not trying to be pushy (like my sister Mary..lol), but I do feel the need to turn on the Bitch Switch for a minute. For a long time I was living under the pretense that there were only about 3 of you reading this. But I have found out that there are more than that (I think there is now about 10 of you), and I only find that out when some of you bitch at me for not writing often enough.

Well, I tried to make those of you happy by writing every day and try to bring some laughter to you day by sharing my misery and what do I get in return...TWO COMMENTS!

So, to all you lurkers here is what I have to say...LEAVE A DAMN COMMENT. I am not asking for one every day, but maybe once a week...Hell, I would settle for once a month. Just let me know that my unhappiness makes you happy!

Thats all

Night
-Meg

Little Bastard's mom

2006-11-10T20:18:00.000-05:00

I actually wanted to post this one yesterday, but decided against it. And today was a quiet day, so I figured that there was a great canidate for today, because I am still hating her.

So, here is what happened. A few days ago, Colin tells me how his friend is having a birthday party in a few weeks. Now this is a friend that isn't in his class, but I hear Colin talk about him when he tells me about who he plays with at school. Well, after informing me about the party, I found out that Colin wasn't invited. So I said "Well, maybe only the boys in his class were invited". Colin them informed me that a few boys from his class were invited; the other boys I hear about Colin playing with.

My heart broke for my son at that very moment. My mother always had a rule that we either invited all the girls, the whole class, or no party. And to be honest, I always hated that rule because I didn't like all the girls in my class and it killed me to have to invite those girls, but I wanted a party so I went along with it. This is the rule I have with my kids, and I thought all parents had. Now, fast forward to the 6th grade, and Lisa Watson had a party and didn't invite me, and we were friends! I am 31 years old and I remember that feeling, so I know how he feels. All I could say was that thank god we have another party to go to that day (thanks Julie) so he was cool with it. In fact, he would rather go the party we are going to then the other one. So, I just let it go and that was that.

But, here is the real kicker of the situation, and what earned this mom a place on my list. Maddie started talking about this boys party last year, and then it all came back to me. Take this situation and the same child, but replace Maddie with Colin. I remember Maddie telling me about this really fun party that she didn't get invited to. Now, if it was only boys, it would have been easier to explain to her, except girls were invited too, namely Maddie's two best friends.

Now, I have my own thoughts on why my babies weren't invited, but I will keep them to myself for now. But here is my "Final thought" on the subject; I want you all (all 4 of you!!), if you have kids, or when you have kids and the birthday party situation comes up, just remember the time you didn't get invited to a party, and the fact you still remember it was, and just think about that other child that doesn't get invited, and I will guarantee that you will not let your child do that to someone else.

Well, that is all for tonight and I may not be back this weekend, so if that happens, have a good weekend and see you all Monday!!
-Meg

"Purple Medicine"

2006-11-09T19:02:00.000-05:00

Monday thru Thursday of every week, I am an assistant at a toddler playgroup in a very wealthy town. Now, I thought Wakefield was a snotty town (and I lived there almost my whole life). But Wakefield is a working town meaning if there are two parents in the house, then usually both are working and that is where the money comes from. Well, it is not the case in the town I work in, I have learned. I would say that at least 75% of the families have a working father and a mother that contributes to the family thanks to her Trust Fund.

Now, I am not knocking Trust Funds...Shit, I wish I had one. And trust me when I say, that most are very humble about the money they have. Sure, they have fancy cars and nice clothes, but (most) are down to earth. The best thing, though about working with these mothers that don't work is that if they're child is sick, they will keep them home and either they will have to miss their daily trip or the nanny (yes most of them have nannies) will have the child at home and won't be able to do the grocery shopping.

Well, as I said most, not all, are like this. Every now and then you have the parent that has kids to keep up with their husbands business associates, not because they have a maternal bone in their body. Well, we have a real doozie in our group this year. She (I have learned), not her husband, comes from "old money", so the fact that she has an Ivy League education means nothing...think "Mona Lisa Smile".

Well, on Tuesday she kept her child home because she had a temp (shocker) but she said her little girl was feeling so good this morning. Now this poor little girl comes in with eyes so watery that they were practically shut, a nose that wouldn't quit, and the only toy she wanted was her stuffed animal. Call me crazy, but if I drop off my child at a place with tons of toys and other kids, and they go over to the couch and lay down, I would say that is a sign that they are still sick. But not this mom, she just laughed and thought her daughter was funny. What I found amusing was that this mom was dressed in her gym clothes, and as she was walking out, she and her friend were talking about they were going to go shopping after the gym!! She should have won mother of the year!

Needless to say, this Mom's exciting morning off was cut very short because during snack, as I was asking the kids what they had for breakfast, the little girl told me that her mother had given her "The Purple Medicine" with her breakfast. I will be honest, I have done that with my kids when they were in day care if they got sick during finals week, but not on the days that I needed to go shopping with my friends. But, if I got the call I got there as soon as I could. I didn't respond like this bonehead and ask if it was o.k. if I got there in an hour or so because I was right in the middle of a workout! For the first time in my life, I am rendered speechless and it was a good thing I wasn't on the phone because I wouldn't have even known what to say.

Well, that's today's winner..Hope you enjoyed!

Nite
-Meg

"Sorry"

2006-11-08T18:28:00.000-05:00

Today was such a low key day, that I was unsure if I would even have anything to write about, but low and behold, on a routine visit to Family Dollar (a.k.a. W.T. Central) I got my person.

So, vision this...I am standing in line with a box of dishwasher detergent, and a package of crayons. I am the third person in line; the first woman is almost done, and the one in front of me only has a few towels. So I am thinking, this should go pretty fast. Well as fast as one cashier can go, because there was only one (shocker!!!). Even though I saw three other employees working, one was super busy stocking shelves and the other two were so engaged in a conversation about their friend that a freakin Mack truck could have come through the front windows and they wouldn't have even noticed!

But, I digress....back to my story...I am waiting in line giving the usual answer of "no" to Maddie and Colin about how they can't get anything else and that only reason Maddie gets new crayons is because hers are all broken and I just got Colin a new pack last week, and so on. When all of a sudden out of the air comes this little woman with a carriage full of all kinds of goodies. She had lamps, curtains, pictures, candles, paper towels, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, etc. I guess she was redecorating on a budget. But what I didn't realize was that she was with the woman who was in front of me. You remember, the one that only had a few towels. I guess those were the towels to go with the other supplies and she was just holding the place while her interior decorator went shopping, and lucky me, I unknowingly got right behind them.

Now we have all been in the grocery store, in the express line with exactly 12 items, and somebody gets behind us with an apple, and we let them go. That is the nice, shit, its the human thing to do. Well, appapranly this woman was not human because she must have seen me pick my jaw up off the floor when I saw what had just happened to me and she said "Sorry".

WTF!!! This broad only says sorry. Like that is going to make it all o.k. and I won't be royally pissed off because she is an a** hole! I guess that a simple word makes it o.k. for her to be inconsiderate. If only it would have been o.k. for my fist to go into her face and then say "sorry" and that would have made it o.k.

Needless to say, I didn't get out of there for about another fifteen minutes (you know that a few things needed price checks) and by that time I was sweating like a pig and my kids were practically throwing tantrums because I didn't have any quarters for them to get anything out of the machines. It was such a good time; I should do it every night.

Well that's all...Hope you all enjoyed.

nite,
-meg

One Dollar Tuesdays

2006-11-07T21:30:00.000-05:00

I am always in search for a bargain. I hit the clearance racks before any other rack in the store, I clip coupons, and I love generic or knock-off items. This is why I love "One dollar for one scoop Tuesdays", from 6:00 to 9:00, at our local Baskin Robbins. The kids can get an ice cream and for $2.00 and I win the best mother in the world award.

Now this is a Baskin Robbins that is in a Dunkin Donuts right in the square, and I usually love the people who work there, and they love my kids. If I go there in the morning, they always give the kids munchkins or a mini scoop of ice cream, and when we go in for ice cream, they give such a big scoop, the kids can't even fit the top on the cup. All of this is always done with a big smile, too.

Well today, the kids and I went in for our weekly trip. The same girl who always works was there waiting on us, but she seemed, how should I say, not so happy, but I figured that would pass. Well, first Colin asked to taste one, something he always does before he decides to get chocolate, and she seemed really annoyed by this. I understand that this could get old and maybe she was just tired of this kid always wanting to try the same thing, but come on, he is 7 years old!! Well, while Colin was deciding, Maddie asked for her usual, Vanilla, and I told her not to put a cover on, to just put a spoon in it. So she handed Maddie hers, and just as she stared to scoop Colins, Maddie dropped her spoon. So when she was done with Colins I asked for a new spoon. Well, I guess at that moment I began speaking native tongue, because she looked at me like I had seven heads. So I explained that Maddie dropped her spoon, and figuring this would be enough to earn a spoon, the look just continued. She then walked over the register, and I noticed she was charging me full price, so I asked her if the Tuesday special had ended (even though the sign was still hanging up) and she said "no, but it's not 6:00 yet". O.K., now it was time for me to get pissed off. First of all, I have been bringing my kids from mid summer until now at about 5:30ish and she never said anything, and second it was 5:57 (I checked my cell phone)!! When I said this to her, she got even more pissed and said "Fine, but next time it has to be after 6:00".

So I just smiled at her and thanked her numbers times, and we went on our way, becaue that was the adult thing to do. But this was definitely one of those time I wished I wasn't, an adult that is, and I could make a big stink over such a little thing. I mean seriously, this money is not coming out of her paycheck. Besides that, I understand some people have bad days, but nobody asked you to work there, you asked for the damn job. If you don't like it, quit and go someplace else!!.

Well, now that I have gotten that out, I hope you had a good day, and remember, don't piss me off, or tomorrow I could be writing about you!!!

night,
-Meg

Is number one really a good thing?

2006-11-06T21:22:00.000-05:00

Here is a question to think about...if you are the first to win a race, or the first to get picked for kick ball, then that is good, but if you are the first to make the Megan's Shit List then you are not so lucky...Drumroll please....

INTERNS!!!!! Ok, Jess, please don't take offense to this, but if you were anything like the intern I had to deal with tonight, then you would be here too! Usually, I like interns because they are just as clueless as me. I love to watch them go through all the charts, look stuff up on their palm pilots (or whatever they have), write stuff on their 8000 pieces of paper, talk EVERYTHING over with all the other interns, all the while guzzling down about 27 cups of coffee. And through all this, they will still have a pretty good demeanor, even though they probably haven't slept in two weeks!

But every now and then you get a doozie...and I got the queen tonight. If I didn't like the people I was working with, I would have just walked out at 5:30 when she started pissing me off. At first it was little things, like interrupting my phone conversations (with a doctor) to ask me how to page people, and then there was jumping in my seat at the desk as soon as I got up and getting pissed when I told her I had to sit there (apparently, checking her email at that time was much more important than the 3 admits I had in my hand!!).

Honestly, I could have handled it if that was all she did, but the thing that pissed me off was that every time the phone rang, she would say (loudly from across the nurses station), "I am ****" (I won't reveal her name) "Is it for me". Now, not only did that get annoying and obnoxious but it also created problems because I was not always able to hear the person on the phone. But the performance that got won her this award was when I was on the phone with admitting, getting info on a patient, and the other line started to ring, and instead of picking up the phone, this B**CH had the audacity to bark at me "Could you please pick that up, I just paged a doctor." Now what I wanted to do was to yell at her (add your own curse words)"ARE YOU FOR REAL!!" But what I did do was, in my most polite voice, asked the person I was talking to on the phone to excuse me, and then I turned to her and said "To answer the phone just pick it up and say usen 6" then I went back to my conversation.

She was even more bitchy to me the rest of the night. But, I just ignored her, and if she needed me, then I would ignore her until she came all the way over to my desk. My motto is and always will be "Payback is a Bitch, and I am the Queen of it!!" HAHAHA

Hope you enjoyed
meg

p.s.Maybe she would have been nicer to me if she knew she was the first to make my SHIT LIST!

SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!!!!!

2006-11-05T20:08:00.000-05:00

O.K so here is the deal...I started this whole blogging thing to keep my sister who is very far away up to date with my very boring life. But here is what I have found out..I have more than three readers!! SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!!! I had no idea. How did I found out, you ask, well here is how. I have a link on my AIM to this, and once again, I figured I am only a few peoples buddy lists, but those few people have been leaving me messages to update my blog. Some have been nice (you know who you are) and others have been a little pesty (you know who you are).

So after a bit of pondering I figured I had a decision to make and here were my choices: 1. End the damn blog and let all you who have been bugging me to try to call me on the phone...we know how good I am at answering that 2. Or write everyday so you can all know just insane my life is. Needless to say, I decided on the latter.

Now, since I am making a commitment to write everyday, I have decided that there will be a slight twist to it. Since my humor is what gets me through most days, I will have an ongoing theme to my blogs...MEGAN'S SHIT LIST!! Yes you have read that line correctly, whether it is the smelly person behind me in the line at Dunkin Donuts, one of my bosses or a member of my schitzophrenic family, I will vomit all of it on all of you and you can tell me what you think!

Happy Reading and stay tuned to see who will be number one tomorrow!
-megs

No More!

2006-09-19T22:42:00.000-04:00

Well, here I am, blogging at 10:30 at night...way past my bedtime. Why you ask, well I will tell you...I am waiting for the laundry to dry. Now I realize this may raise a more important question, why the need to stay up just waiting for clothes to dry, well I will tell you. I am going away this weekend so I have to pack for me and the kids. I hate it!

I remember the days (as I am sure all with kids do) when I could just grab a few things on my way out Friday and be good for the weekend. Even if I forgot something, like underwear or toothpaste, I could just grab it when I get to my destination because I had the extra money. Or I could just borrow from someone who I was with. Because lets be honest, back then (before children) it was all about spontaneity. Well those days are just a memory now and its all about planning and making lists and double and triple checking, and checking one more time before I even leave the house. AAAAAHHHH is all I can say!

Back to why I am waiting for my clothes to dry. See, I am fortunate, Maddie and Colin have a dress code, so I can pack most of their stuff for the weekend without worring if there is enough for the rest of the week, as well as my own, but it is still royal pain in the ass. I have to make sure there is at least two changes of clothes for each day, and because of our wonderful, unpredictable New England weather, I also have to pack warm and cold clothes. Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful that my days of diapers and formula are over, but never the less, it is still so time consuming.

Now, let me just tell you how excited I am to be going away this weekend, mostly because my sister is coming in from AR and I get to see her in all her pregnant glory, but if I could just magiclly zap all my clothes to my and the kids destinations, I would be more focused on being excited...but I don't live in fantacy land and that is not going to happen. But as I listen to the buzzer of the dryer going off telling me to get off my ass and get the clothes, I will focus my energy on what I am packing for-a chance for me to relax, have fun, and bond with my sisters...without the constant interuptions of our wonderful children!!

Good night--meg

Rt. 128

2006-09-13T20:45:00.000-04:00

I hate traffic....Actually I HATE driving, but I hate traffic even more. Just sitting in my car doing nothing just drives me crazy. I will flip through the stations, then flip through my Palm Pilot, then back to the radio just looking for either a good song or topic of conversation that I can tolerate. When that bores me, I will pick up my phone and start calling people hoping that will solve my boredom. Usually nothing does, and my mind just starts to wonder; and my mind is like a bad neighborhood, I should never go in it alone!!

Now, I have always been very fortunate where I have had jobs that never entailed too much traffic. Don't get my wrong, I may hit the occational school bus route, or maybe a backed up light, but other then that, it has always been smooth sailing. Hell, when I did find that one particular area was backed up at the same time every day, I would research the area to find back roads that I could take so that I wouldn't be forced to sit in that hell.

Well last December that all changed when I accepted a job at a morning toddler playgroup. The job is in Wellesley and I am in Woburn. Now, these two places are only about twenty minutes apart; but at 8:00 a.m., this ride could take up to an hour on the dreaded rt. 128. And if that wasn't bad enough, last April I started working at the hospital a few afternoons a week and I would leave at 5:00 on the same highway, with the same wonderful bumper to bumper gridlock I have come to loathe! What the f**k was I thinking!!!!!

At first it wasn't so bad. Like I said, I always had "something to do". The radio was helpful, the palm pilot worked as a nice filler, hell, I even listened to books on tape for a while, but being the ADD case that I am, I have grown bored with these things and now I am forced to find other things to do, like my make up and plucking my eyebrows. May seem strange to some, but I am sitting there for an hour, might as well be productive.

That leads me to the point of this blog (bet you were wondering when I was going to get to it). Let me just outline what kind of drivers I have to deal with (and the kind of driver I have grudgingly become) each and every morning:

1. Gotta get there first driver: This is the driver that feels the need to weave in and out of lanes just to get a whole two cars in front of you. And yes I said weave, which in traffic terms means, put on their blinker, and make their way over getting so damn close to you that you have to let them through or else they will take off half your car!

2. Conference Call Driver: This is the driver that is talking with their Bluetooth on their ear, sending messages on their two-way, and checking appointments on their Blackberry all while drinking their Starbucks coffee and steering with their knees!

3.Creepy Eighteen-Wheeler Driver: Now, one of best friends is a truck driver, but I'm sorry, they always seem to be trying to look and see something!

4. LOVE THIS SONG Driver: (I am sometimes this person). This is the driver that is so passionate about singing a song like "Walk Away" by Kelly Clarkson, that they forget that they are in traffic singing to the audience of their steering wheel, and think they are at Madison Square Garden singing to a crowd of 18,000 people!

5.Have to get Pretty in the Car Driver: This is who I am...No time in the morning, so get it done in the car. The difference between a.m and p.m with this one, is that the morning you start with fresh, but in the afternoon, you are just trying to clean it up!

I am sure there are more, but these are the people who I see every morning. I suppose that some may get a laugh out of it, and others may not even notice it, but trust and believe, if you did it and saw it every morning and afternoon then out of lack of nothing else to do, you too would be analyzing all the drivers you see while sitting in traffic!!

--Meg

FINALLY!!

2006-09-09T20:10:00.000-04:00

Well, after months of being without internet (except for the occational time at work where there wasn't 1000 things to do), I finally got my home internet working. Let me tell you, I never relized how much I missed it until it was gone!
But now, the pressure is on. I no longer have any excuse not to blog or e-mail or check my sisters blogs or so on...but I will do my best to check in at least once a week, so you lurkers (and you know who you are!!) can now stop bitching at me to blog because now I will be.
--meg

All By Myself

2006-08-13T08:26:00.000-04:00

Well, this is going to be an exciting week. My always happy daughter will be spending the week with her Auntie Melissa at the "sockie" and my always calm son will be spending the week with Grama, and I will be spending the week in the lovely city of Woburn!!!

Now, I have known about this week for a while, so I have been making plans on what I am going to do. You know, go to dinner with all friends who I haven't seen since Christmas, go to the meetings I can never seem to get a babysitter for, maybe spend some time lying out in the sun to prevent my tan from fading, and (if I have time) maybe clean the house from top to bottom! Anybody with kids (whether they have 2 or 22) knows that these things will take twice the time with a little one in tow!

Now, I am a very ambious person when I want to be, and I always have the best intentions at heart. But if there is one thing I have learned about myself over the past 31 (ugh!) years, I am a planner, but not always a follow througher!! I will always know what I want to do, but my problem is that I set my sights too high, or want to accomplish too much, so when I have only completed 25% of the tasks at hand, and I know that no human on earth could ever finish the rest by the deadline, I just give up and get pissed at myself!!

This is what I am going to try to avoid this week. I am only going to try to do one of these things a day. Not to try to do all of these things in one day!! But most importantly, if the only thing I can accoplish in the course of the day is to go to work, than thats all I will worry about.

changes

2006-08-02T12:06:00.000-04:00

Well, I am writing this post at my sisters house while my hair is prosessing and it is inspired by the fact that my hair will soon be the color it was when I was born..or at least pretty close (I forget what color that is since it has been so long!!). I NEED A CHANGE!!

Now to those who know me, know that I hate change. I am very much a creature of habit. I get up at about the same time every day and with that comes the same routine of getting coffee, showering, getting the kids up, etc. Every now and then, if my alarm clock does not go off, then I am screwed up for the day (I don't take a proverbial wrench in the works very well). I will try my best to just step into the line and go, but it never works. I just end up having a crappy day and being a bitch to those who dare to come into contact with me.

But this is all about to change (no pun intended!!). Starting with my hair, I am going to start to change my life. No more doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results (wait, isn't that the defination of insanity), things are going to be different. There will be no more blonde hair, no more strict routine, and no more of the other things in my life that I know I need to change but just don't have the kahones to do!

I look at it like I look at my hair...if it ends up being that bad and I hate it that much, I can always go back to the way it was!

Auntie Megan

2006-07-28T11:16:00.000-04:00

I can remember when Mary was having my first niece--Stephanie. It was such an exciting time for me. I was 17 and a junior in high school. I couldn't wait to see that baby!! I spent as much free time as I had with my sister and followed every ultra sound, kick and Dr.'s appointment. The day she had her, I was there..well not right there, but I was outside the room and I heard the final scream. When Carl brought her out for me to see, I started crying intantly. I had no idea I could "love someone so much who I just met".

After she was born, I still spent as much time with her as I could. On my days off from work, I would either go over and see her, or take her out or just go over to my sisters house and watch her sleep. This continued until my life go very busy (or at least thats what I will call it for all intensive purposes), but I still tried to make time for her. After all, she was my only neice and she was my baby, too!.

I would love to say that this was a one sided love, but anyone who knew us would say that we had an equal admiration for eachother. Even thought there was a little jealously on my part ( I was the baby for 17 years), I still thought the sun set and rose according to here. She loved me as much as I loved her. In alot of ways, I felt like we grew up together (all those who knew me then will understand that statement), which only made me love her more.

When she was 7, I became a mother, and she was not happy. Not only because there would be to babies for her to compete with (she was the baby for 7 years), but becaue she was going to lose her Auntie Megan. But it didn't happen and I still made time for her.

Well, since that time there has been three more babies, (and one more in Merediths belly). Now one may think that after the first few, it becomes old hat and the excitement is gone, but it is the oppisite...I get more excited with every time kick, ultrasound and birth. I wonder what color eyes they will have, if they will have alot of hair and if so what color, who they will look like.

I have to say that this post was inspired by the fact that my sister is pregnant, and I have yet to talk to her due to my crazy schedule, and the fact that I am an irresponsible sister...but I do have to say, I can't wait to meet the new baby!!

How do I begin??

2006-07-16T10:18:00.000-04:00

Well, its been about six months since my last post and I know what all of you are thinking (when I say all of you, I mean my 3 or 4 readers!!)...what the hell??

I could sit here and just pour out the excuses of where I have been, what I have been doing, and how crazy my life has been, but if you want to know that, then you can just read my archives and find out that info, instead I will just say the following:

--I am now working days so my pay has gone down, but my sleep has gone up
--The move is off due to a series of events that were completly out of my control
--My love life has not changed a bit..still tryin to ween out the losers
--Tryin to stop the chain of me being a dormat and FINALLY standing up for myself!

Now for all of you who know me know what all of this means, and those who don't, well don't worry...just picture yourself watching a lifetime movie on a Sunday afternoon when unfortunate things keep happening to the same woman. Well I am that woman, but unlike the woman in the movie I can laugh about it and find the positive.

Well, I am at work, and I should actually do some seeing that is what they are paying me for, but I just wanted all is well and will keep getting better!

Meg

sooooo long

2006-01-30T23:13:00.000-05:00

O.k. So it has been forever since my last post, but here I am back again. I guess that I haven't felt like anything too exciting has happened to me lately, so I have been quiet...and for those that know me, know that is NOT me!! But today was such a good day (and those days are few and far between) that I just had to let my fingers get some much needed exercise.
First of all, my day started good when I switched banks, and found out that not only do I qualify for a credit card with a sizable limit but my credit score is pretty damn good. Now I know what you are thinking, big deal for a 31 year old, but this 31 year old has had the WORST credit for so long that I couldn't even get an ATM card, and now they want to give me all kinds of extras!! How funny is that!

Well, then I had parent/teacher conferences at Maddie and Colin's school. Now, I didn't have too many concerns. My only worry was Colin's behavior and Maddies talking (and I was worried about her social skills). Anyway, I expected to be in and out, but I was very wrong. First, Maddie's teacher told me that although she used to have to remind her of her talking, she has gotten Maddie 2nd grade (yes 2nd grade) worksheets and she is doing much better! Holy shit, I had no idea how smart this girl was. I also found out that Maddie is no longer following her friend, and is branching out and making new friends. As for the boy, he is doing so much better than I even know. His teacher said that he is reading chapter books (something he doesn't do at home) and he is the most polite boy in the class. I also learned that he has really made a name for himself among the older kids in the school...I am not sure if that is good or bad, but at least he is no longer that nervous wreck he was.

Needless to say, I walked out of the school beaming and so proud of my babies. The thing that really made me happy was that for all the discipline I do, and for as much as I think they don't listen to me, I guess they do and I guess I have done something right along the way because I have great kids...and I am no longer the only one that thinks it!!

Its finally over!!

2006-01-02T12:05:00.000-05:00

Thank God the Christmas/birthday/new years season is finally over. I have to say its the one time of my life that I dread because it is so crazy. Between Christmas parties, birthday parties, Christmas eve and day, and new years, I never know if I am coming or going.

Now I should probably mention that December is a sucky month for us for the following reasons. There is the obvious reason, Christmas, but then my birthday is the 19th, Maddie and Colins is the 30th, I have the cookie swap (which I try to get out of every year), the family Christmas party, and Ernie and Maureens party. Now, these are just the regulars, throw in a few spur of the moment parties or the ones that people decide to have, and you would be ready to go into a nice rubber room just like me!!

This year was no exception. From the second Saturday in December until New Years I was constantly going. I was either at parties and dinners or having parties and dinners. Now, I am not a cook (I can cook, but it is a secret!!), but I did have to do plenty of it, and then clean up after it, and that's not even counting the regular things that I have to do around my house every day. And don't even get me started on working because then I will never stop!

One thing I will say is that even though the hustle and bustle can get to a person, it is all made so good on Christmas morning when I see Maddie and Colins faces with all the presents from Santa. This year, they both got so much and were so excited by it all.

Well, as I said, I am so excited that it is over and now we can go back to our normal, crazy, rushed lives....but without the stress of Christmas!

Crying

2005-12-19T16:25:00.000-05:00

I hate to cry...Who doesn't? My eyes get red, my cheeks get blotchy, my nose gets stuffy and for some strange reason, my upper lip gets swollen. I guess that crying is a spiritual experience for me! It is probably the reason that I won't do it in front of people, I will do it alone or when I am on the phone with someone, that way they won't see me. Sounds very egotistical, I know, but just chalk it up to one of my issues I need to work on.

Well, this week I think I have cried more that I have in my entire life, and quite frankly I am sick of it. I have had one of my many recent "breakdowns" which consist of my basically hyperventalating and in the fetal position on the floor..Its really a good time!! As a result of that I had another breakdown in front of someone, and then another on the phone with someone. Now this was all in one day, and I thought it was done, but I was wrong, because I spent about the whole day yesterday, and half the day today crying about basically the same thing!! It really makes me ask myself "what the hell is wrong with me!!"

Well, after all of this, and me wanting to rip my eyes out of my head because they hurt so much, I have decided this, I have to just let go. After all that's all I can do, and it is what is going to help me sleep at night....Hopefully!

Surprises!

2005-12-14T14:17:00.000-05:00

Well, anyone who knows me knows how much I hate surprises. I don't know if it is the gossip queen in me, or if its the girl in me that has to know everything about everyone, but regardless, surprises are up there on the the things I hate.

I feel I should preface this by saying there has been very few Christmas and birthday gifts I don't know about. Even if I am not told exactly what it is, I am usually given enough of a hint to figure it out or come pretty close to what it is.

Well, this weekend was one surprise after another to such an extreme that I no longer know what to think or expect!! Let me start from the beginning....

Thursday afternoon I was on the phone with a friend of mine and he told me that he was getting a c.d. for my birthday. Well, after much prodding and nagging I got enough hints out of him, that I had it narrowed down to three different artists, so I thought. When I told him what I thought he told me that I was wrong at first, but then told me I was right, but he wouldn't tell me which one it was. Well, that sent me into such a rage that I actually debated even talking to him again (I am so damn mature!!).

Saturday night....I go to my Melissa and Moms Christmas party (what a good time!!) Now, after the party we hung out and we all talked about what our plans were for the next day. I mentioned that I was going to a friends house and I was not looking forward to it because I wanted to relax all day, so one of my friends that was here said that he would call me at a certain time to help get me out of there. Now, I also told him I was planning to go to my friends house in my pajamas (and no bra!) because what did I care!

So, off I go on Sunday to my friends house (I ended up being in actual clothes) with her xmas present, the kids, and wet laundry (my dryer is broken) under my arm. When my friend opened the door she very subtly said "Happy Birthday" and there was a sign hanging behind her. I smiled and said thank you and then as I walked in I saw some of my friends hiding and then they said "surprise!". AHHHHH!!! I was so mad and happy at the same time! I didn't know if I wanted to kill her or hug her. The best part was that as the time progressed some of my other friends came and we had a great time.

I suppose the moral of this story is that for as much as I may say I hate surprises I guess I actually like them....Just don't tell anyone!!

Decisions, Decisions

2005-12-14T13:45:00.000-05:00

To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.

I recently came upon this quote and I felt it was so fitting and applied so much to my life right now that I was complelled to just let my fingers go and see where it goes. I am finally at a point in my life that I am looking at things through adult eyes and not ones that require approval from Mom and Dad. It is such a strange and weird feeling that sometimes I am wishing I could go back to where I was not too long ago.

I recently made an adult decision and for the first time in my life, after making it I didn't regret it or wish I never made it. Even though it was not the decision that other people wouldn't have made (you know who you are...haha), I am not regretting it at all. I feel that this decision made me stronger, happier, and has made my self esteem explode to heights that I never thought possible.

I think the reason that I am feeling so good about this decision is because it was thought out, talked about (some even got sick of hearing about it), and thought out even more before I did it. For the first time in my life I made the decision myself and the outcome was unbelievable and only made things better.

Here I go again

2005-11-18T09:57:00.000-05:00

Well, Here I am, blogging at 7 in the morning (I am never up this early) and I am realizing for as much as I think I know about computers, I really know nothing. Even though I will try to fix things on my own, I will usually end up either screwing things up even more, or deleting things that I need. Where is my sister when I need her!!

Here is what happened...I woke this morning at 6 (ya, that's right 6 a.m.) and I could not fall back asleep, so I figured I would take advantage of the fact that the kids were still sleeping, and make my coffee and do some surfin (something I never get the opportunity to do). Well, as I was sitting here, I decided to change the look of my blog (I was getting pretty bored with it, as were all my other readers!!) so I started to take a look the different templates, and fonts and so on. Well, I found one I really liked (I am such a lover of pink) and changed it. Well, it changed my template all right, it also wiped out all the little links I had as well (the ones my Mere put up for me). Oh God...Now what!

So, I said (in my non-caffeine/nicotine haze) "I can fix this". Well, this is when I need to stress the fact that I SHOULD NOT try anything new without my morning jump start, because when I did try not only could I not figure out what to do, I started yelling at the computer (as if it was going to talk back to me and give me answers) and I woke up the little monsters (maddie and colin), and they are NOT morning people!!

So, I make a request to you, Meredith, my very smart, wonderful, beautiful sister, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME!!! Make my blog look good again...I am afraid to try to fix this so that I don't throw my computer out the window!!

I did it!

2005-11-15T11:51:00.000-05:00

Well, yesterday was the day that I have been dreading for a few weeks now...whether or not I was going to leave my job. After drastic hour cuts at my work, I had decided that if hours weren't brought back up, I was going to give my letter of resignation. Yesterday was the big day and I was ready. I had my letter written, printed, copies made, and sealed in envelopes and ready to go. Needless to say I was nervous, but the outcome was not what I had expected....They took the letter of resignation and said they were sorry to see me go.

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

Now, my self esteem about a lot of things in my life is not very high, but when it comes to working with kids, I know I am VERY good at what I do. I know how to speak to them, how to plan age appropriate activities, how to train other people work with them, and (not to brag) but I just have a way with kids, I always have. My family has always encouraged me to pursue that career because of the way I am with kids. I am not sure if it is because I am kid myself, I just know that it is the one career that I can do so natural and not think about, I am able to just do it. I am not intimidated or afraid I am going to screw up when I am in that setting, I can just be.

So, after being at a job that I was told I was (and I quote) "the best teacher in the room, perhaps even the center" I was pretty shocked that they were not eager to keep me. I know that statement is very self righteous, but I really did not expect them to let me go. Not that I expected them to beg me to stay, but I was at least hoping for some kind of counter offer, but it didn't happen.

I guess its the nature of the beast of child care. I have always been told day care teachers are a dime a dozen and anyone can be replaced. But here is one thing I do know, I will not let this shatter my image of myself. I know that being with kids is where I belong and this is just another learning experience for me.

The poor boy

2005-11-14T09:12:00.000-05:00

My poor boy...He is stuck in a house with two chicks, neither of whom know anything about boy stuff. Sure, we can tell him how to dress, make his hair look handsome, or perhaps put on make-up (LOL), but when it comes to boy things, we are both at a loss! This was proven so clear yesterday.

Myself and the kids went to our friends new baby's christening party. I was a little nervous on how the kids would be because they didn't know anybody, but the three of us had a pep talk on the car ride there and I was feeling pretty confident that all would be good. Well we got there and the kids sat down to eat. I could tell Colin was nervous, because he didn't have his full appetite (he did eat good, but not as much as usual), but he seemed ok. Well, my friend then asked him if he wanted to go outside to play football with the boys. Now, anyone who knows my son knows that he goes no place new with out me, but he must have felt ok to go with my friend because he went and never even asked me to go with him.

When Maddie was finished eating (and the girl ate A LOT!) she and I went outside. Well, this is when I realized I need to by the book "raising boys for dummies" because the poor kid had no idea whatsoever how to play football. Sure, he had the running thing down, but as for catching, throwing, or tackling, he didn't have a clue! As I sat there and watched him all I could think was "why didn't I pay attention to my father on one of the thousand occatitions when he tried to explain the game to me, then I could have passed it on to Colin and he could have had a little more of a clue on what he was supposed to be doing.

He did end up getting more of an idea on what to do (with lots of coaching from my friend) and having a great time. And I realized (as well as someone pointed out to me) as sensitive as my son is, he really is all boy and loves to act like one!

Job Interviews

2005-11-07T17:40:00.000-05:00

Well, after finding what I thought was to be my dream job, it has now turned into the job from hell. I love what I do, and I love my kids, but because it is such a small center, and enrollment is down, then hours have been getting cut. Being a single mother I am not able to survive on what I am currently making (I was barely surviving before). I could pick up hours at the hospital, but then that involves getting a sitter, paying them, etc. What is a girl to do....Look for a new job and start going on job interview!!!

I hate job interviews, for so many reasons and on so many levels. I get so nervous and the whole time I am worrying I am saying the right thing, am I laughing at the right jokes, and do I have something stuck in my teeth! Then there is the obvious, does my breath stink, did I put on enough deodorant, and did I put on too much perfume...and if I did are they about to pass out or do they like it. Then I am wondering I they are impressed by my experience or am the the exact opposite of what they are looking for?!

Then there is the result of me watching too many news shows on statistics on job interviews....They tend to hire thin women over overweight women. I have seen it on 20/20, dateline, 60 minutes, and probably six other shows. Now, obviously there are exceptions to this statistic ( I have gotten jobs in my life), but that is still in my head everything I walk into an interview, "Am I not going to get this job because I love to eat French fries!!".

I am such a stress ball about little things like this, and although I should not be that afraid at these interviews, but I always am and probably always will. I just have to remember that if I am meant to get the job, than I will get it. If I don't get it, then it wasn't meant to be and if nothing else, I at least got practice on what NOT to do at an interview!!

Wish me luck!

I got tagged

2005-10-27T10:54:00.000-04:00

I was tagged by rainbow mama. Being new to the blogging world, I am going to do my best, and hopefully I will look back and laugh at what a goof I was!

7 things I want to do before I die:
1. See my children grow up and be happy without too much therapy
2. Move out of massachusetts
3. Get my masters degree
4. Meet the man of my dreams and not let him get away this time!!
5. Travel to at least one forign country (I'm not picky)
6. Not live paycheck to paycheck
7. See Jaime graduate from collage

7 things I cannot do:
1. Sing on tune
2. Not be like my mother (see number 1!!)
3. Take a week off of work
4. Stand up to people I am closest to
5. Stop droppin the "F" bomb every five minutes
6. Save money (I am workin on it though)
7. Live without my babies

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. Drive
2. Making me laugh
3. Honesty (althought that seems to get me into touble...Tony??)
4. Respect
5. Self-esteem
6. Ability to dance
7. Chest (it had to go in there)

7 things that I say most often:
1. Ya think??
2. Thank God for you!
3. a doo--scrapadoo, walkadoo, etc.
4. Shut the F**k up!! (see there is the "F" bomb)
5. Fabulous
6. I said NO!!
7. Hey Dawg!

7 celebrity crushes:
1. Leland (from dog- bounty hunter---his body is to die for!!)
2. Matt Damon
3. Jay-Z
4. 50 cent (muscles)
5. Britney Spears (my guilty pleasure)
6. King Kaysar (grrrrr)
7. John - Paul Lavoisier (sexy rexy!!)

7 people I want to do this: (although you are absolutely not obligated)
1.stephanie
(she is the only other person who I know who blogs)

Holy s**t!!

2005-10-25T08:59:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I am not any kind of political activist, but on a recent trip to my sisters blog, I decided to look at another blog she had a link to (I am so nosey its scary!!). Well, on this blog it had the cost of the war (which I have seen before) but then it had a link to see what could be done with the money that has been spent on the war, and let me tell you, it was amamzing. For what the war has cost us, we could have built over one million new public housing buildings, gave over 100,000 children insurance, and given away almost 200,000 scholarships to kids to go to public collages for the full four years!! Needless to say I was floored!

Being a person who does rely somewhat on help from the government, I wanted to throw the computer out the window for a number of reasons. Now, I am not saying that I should be getting more and that is why I was so mad...I know that I am VERY lucky to be getting what I am getting and I don't take it for granted. What got me the most is that I know people who are struggling and can't get any help because of recent "cuts". For example, there is a woman who I work with who has a son that is 4 years old and requires special needs care. Now, she is doing the "right thing" and going to school, as well as working 32 hrs a week (nights, no less) and trying to provide a good life for her son while making ends meet. Now, she receives some assistance with her child care, but on a recent visit she was told that she may not qualify any longer because of her income. Now, my question is (and I would love to get the opportunity to ask GWB this), if she pays the full amount for child care, she will barely have enough to live, therefore discouraging her from wanting to work a "full time job", therefore, forcing her to cut down her hours at work and once again putting her in a position to rely on the government and once again making her feel like crap for not being able to provide for her son!!!

This is just one example of the viscous circle that people go through. I could sit and talk about many more, but I don't have the time and the energy to do that. I know that my blog is not read by the "big man" so it won't make too much difference, but I just had to get on my soapbox for a minute and do a little vomiting!!

Friends for life

2005-10-16T18:10:00.000-04:00

Well, I guess this blog is inspired by the passing of my friend Brian. He was 25 years old, and I have known him for almost 8 years. His death was unexpected, and very heartbreaking and really took a toll on me. It also didn't hit me until I saw all the people it affected. I am still in shock because of it, and it still doesn't seem completely real.

I am a person that lives by the saying "everything happens for a reason". Although I am not sure yet what the reason is yet, I am sure what his death is making me realize...life is short. The choices I make, the people who I choose to call friends, and my way of looking at things has changed drastically in just a few short weeks. One decision in particular has really been made for me with his passing and I am taking every step necessary to ensure it becomes real.

Now, here is where the friends come in. I have always been a person who has about three or four close friends, and a lot of friends (not as close). I will do anything for my friends, even if means neglecting my needs to make sure theirs are met, after all, isn't that what friendship is about? What I am realizing is that some of my "close" friends are just in this friendship for themselves, and really aren't there for my needs, only theirs. The other thing that I have come to realize is that these seem to be the kind of friends who I gravitate towards. I am not sure if it is because I am a caretaker to the extreme or if it because I am a sucker who has a "use me" sign on my forehead, or if it is because I am too scared to have no friends so I do what I have to keep the ones I have. Either way, I am now making the steps in my life to change that. At the point I am FINALLY at in my life, I would rather have no friends, than have ones that don't reciprocate what I am giving them.

I am no longer going to put my life, family, job, ect. on hold for petty bulls**t just because a "friend" in my life needs me. I have to start remembering the main thing (I feel) Brian forgot....I need to be o.k. with me or else I am useless to anyone else.

Questions from a first grader

2005-10-10T22:43:00.000-04:00

"What is a Staff Lounge?"
"How do You spell number (or me, my, one, room, pen, etc.)?"
"What is Heaven Like?"
"When can I be a super model?"
"Why can't I wear my pink shirt with my pink pants?"
"Why can't we walk to Auntie Meredith and Auntie Jess' house?"
"What is an alklohic (alcoholic)?"
"Can I have cookies for breakfast?"
"Why do you have to go to work?"
"Why do you need money?"
"Why do you need to pay bills?"
"Who puts up the stars?"
"How does and airplane stay in the air?"

Does this expain my insanity???!!!

SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!

2005-10-07T05:27:00.000-04:00

Well its been almost two months since my last blog and quite frankly I am very ashamed of myself! I check my sisters blog every other day to see what she has and I have the audacity to get mad when she doesn't update every other day!

If I had to sum up what my life has been like over the past two months in a word it would be.....STOP!! That is all I want to happen. Sounds good in theory, but is so unrealistic I could cry!

What could I possibly want to stop...I mean according to some my life is pretty easy and they don't know how I handle it so well, but these are the people who conveniently put blinders on when I comes to looking at anyone else because their lives are "so hard". These people forget just how good they have it, and have NO idea what my life is like.

Now, this is not going to be a blog from my damn soapbox because lord knows I am too tired....just from this week I feel I could collapse, but when I sit back and think about my life and what is expected of me every day, it makes me wonder if the old saying is true (or if some very sick person made it up to make people like me feel better) "God will never give you more than you can handle". To that I say HAHAHAHA.

I have no idea how I am handling everything in my life right now. Between getting the kids to school, getting my to work, doing all that is expected of me in my work (curriculums, lessons, cleaning, rotating, potty training, and dealing with women!), cook, clean, get things ready for school/work the next day, shopping, laundry, quality time with the kids, swimming lessons, maintaining some kind of a social life, working my "other" job, I have learned the following things:

1. Multitasking is not so hard
2. I don't have to do everything in one day, I can put off a few things for tomorrow and nobody will get hurt.
3. I don't have to be the perfect mom/teacher/daughter/sister/etc.
4. At the end of the day when my head goes on the pillow, the only person that has to be happy is me, and if I am, then all is good.

These are the things that get me through the day. Even though all I want to do these days is STOP, I know I can't, and I am o.k. with that.

The Green Monster!

2005-08-11T09:51:00.000-04:00

Those three words mean the the world to people from Boston. They represent our biggest disappointments, until last year, and now they mean our biggest victory..A victory we waited 86 years for. It was a wonderful feeling and put the people of Boston in a better mood for a while.
Well, last night I experienced the green monster, and I have to say it was just as breath taking as I could have imagined. Riding in on the "T" and feeling like a sweaty sardine, walking down Lansdown street with the smell of sausage, scalpers trying to sell and buy tickets...It really was all that I had every thought and heard of and more.
My first red sox game was when I was about 12 and my sister and her boyfriend took me. I have no idea who we played, who won, or where we sat, but I remember the whole feeling of it, and how much I liked it. The biggest thing I remember is the hot dogs and how there was no ketchup, but the hot dog tasted better than anything else I had ever tasted.
As I said, last night I went to my second game with Colin and I felt like I was 12 all over again. I was so excited to go that the day couldn't go by fast enough. Here is how it went:
Colin and I took the train in (which He hated because the train was so hot). I was armed with too much money, my cell phone and of course, my camera. We stepped off the train and immediately came across 2 scalper offering ALOT of money for tickets, but there was no way on Gods green earth I was going to give up my tickets. We walked with the crowds down to Lansdown street, picking up a program on the way, and got more and more excited with every step. When we hit Lansdown, we stopped at our first vender, and got sourviners...A green monster for Maddie, a bat for Colin, and a pink hat for Ari. Now that we got that out of the way, we were ready to go.
We finally found the correct gate (it was rather confusing) and I took a picture of colin at the gate, then one of him giving the guy his ticket (a true scrapbooking moment), and we were in. Colin being a first timer (as well as the cutest boy there) we got quite a bit of attention from the employees. We got to go up to the Green Monster...WOW! We went up what seemed to be a million stairs and saw the field from there, and all I could think was.."Holy crap, the field looks so much bigger on T.V.!!" lol! But, I was still very impressed. Colin wasn't because he wanted to get to our seats.
When we finally got to our seats, I realized we were super early, and I wondered how I was going to keep the boy busy. I then noticed I didn't have to, he was in awe. He said about 4 words to be in the hour we were sitting there. He was trying to take in the field, the people, the players who were practicing, and the vendors yelling. I was truly a surreal moment for me.
The game started and that is when He truly got to see red sox nation in action. We cheered and booed just like everyone else. We did the wave, got our fenway franks and popcorn,and made some new friends. Although there was a play that I didn't understand, so I called Pepere (because he knows everything) and got the low down. We saw Manny hit a 3 run homer, and we saw Nixon screaming on the field. It was a typical game.
We left in the 7th inning, because Colin started to get figity, and we started to make our way back to the train. On our way back, I saw a side to Colin that I had never seen. On our walk, we saw a homeless man asking for money. Colin wanted to know why he was doing that, so I told him. Well, he wanted to give him money, but since he didn't have any, he gave him a one of his baseball cards that came with his program. He did this again to another homeless man we saw, and then gave his pen (that he brought just in case for autographs) and gave it to another homeless man. I was so shocked that here is a boy who won't even share a cookie with his sister, but has compassion and wants to help other people. I was so proud of my boy!
We got home very late, and we all fell asleep about 20 seconds after hitting the pillow! We were so tired from all the cheering and booing. It was a night that I will never forget, and I know Colin will never forget either.
On another note, when I woke up this morning I found out that not only did we win, but we killed the rangers 16-5....I love my boys!

BILLS, BILLS, BILLS!!!!

2005-08-06T21:24:00.000-04:00

ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! This has to be the worst word in the English language. What other word can make your skin crawl, make your stomach turn, and make you want to run for the hills. This is the reason we work, the reason we don't go out to dinner and the reason we don't buy the pair of jeans that make our butt look great!
It is a ritual for me when I get home from work, I close my eyes and pray to the money god that when I get my mail that there is none of those pretty envelopes with the nice red line on it. I am beginning to believe that there is no such god, because those are what I am staring at when I get the mail.
Oh, well, it is a way of life I guess, and hopefully one day I will actually enjoy getting the mail, but for now one thing is for sure....It is a good thing that I never see the postman, because I am liable to tackle him for putting me in such a bad mood every day!!!

The Perfect Man

2005-06-29T23:14:00.000-04:00

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
-- Anonymous

What exactly is the perfect man? Tall, dark and handsome or short, light and ugly? Is he bald (naturally or by choice) or is does he have hair down to his waist? Is he quiet or is he the life of the party? Is he strong and can leap buildings in a single bound, or is he the type that would rather talk to someone and not use his fists? Does he want a woman to stay home while he goes out and works, or does he want a woman to work so he can stay home and play Mr. Mom. I don't quite know the answer to this blanket question, but I do know who it would be for me.
First off, I need a man who is going to love not only me, but also my children, after all we are a package deal. If he can't accept all of us, then he is definitely not for me. Next, I need someone who loves what they do for work, and doesn't just do it for the money. Speaking from experience, I would rather be broke and happy than rich and miserable. And lastly, I need someone who is close with their family, that way they are not weirded out or threatened by my relationship with my family.
Now these cover the basics, and to be quite honest, I have a hard time finding these qualities in men. The scary part is that I never get a chance to see if they have the other qualities I am looking for. For example, do they have the same kind of drive as I do so they can be a good role model for my children the way I have always tried to be? Also, can they make me laugh, and can I make them laugh? There is nothing worse than someone who doesn't get my humor..oohh, that is so frustrating!! But lastly, do they know all about me, good and bad, and still want to be with me and my children?
I have yet to have the chance to get the answer to this question because the men I meet either run when they find out I have kids, or only want one thing, and I am not willing to give it up, so they move onto the next person!
So, this basically leaves me with only one thing to do..I (have to) believe that this person exists and is out there, but until then, I will not fret or become obsessed with finding him, I will live my life and wait patiently for my "Perfect Man"

strange fears

2005-06-29T22:28:00.000-04:00

I have never been one to consider myself an adventurous person. I look both ways before crossing the street, I wear my seatbelt, and I never go to bed with the dryer running. In fact some people may even laugh at some of my fears. For example, when I was having my babies, my fear was not that the kids would be ok or that the spinal wouldn't take, but that there would be a fire in the hospital and I would be numb from the neck down and not be able to get out. Or the fear that I am going to somehow plumet to my death in an elevator that the chains, or whatever holds them up, will break and that will be the end of me.
Well, last Sunday I got the pleasure of getting a ride on Freds new boat. Now if there is one thing I Can say about my brother-in-law is that when he does something he does it BIG!! This boat is amazing! It has a little space that one can sit in to get out of the sun, it has a bathroom, and it has a t.v with a d.v.d. player attached (maddie and colin were very impressed by that!). Well, I was o.k. with getting on the boat and I was very excited about it, until we were out of the neck and on "the big lake"
Now, I am used to little ol' Kingston Lake, and Lake Winnipisokee (or however it is spelled)is about 5 times bigger. But never the less, I was ok because I trusted Fred.
Well, then the boat was going faster and faster and there were all kinds of other watercraft all around us (who were not practicing water safety laws I might add!!) and that is when it hit me...I am in the middle of huge friggen lake, and if something happens what am I going to do!!!!!!!! How am I going to get my kids to safety, how am I going to keep my cool, am I really a good enough swimmer or have the years taken a toll on me?!?!
Needless to say, this made the first 30-40 minutes of my ride pretty nerve racking and not so enjoyable. It also didn't help the situation that while Paige was taking a nap right on the back bench (because she was do relaxed), Colin was asking me if the boat was going to catch on fire (gee, I wonder where he gets that from..lol!) But, after the boat slowed down I decided to venture to the front of the boat and sit in the passanger seat (a.k.a. Micheal's seat on Micheal's boat!!) and then I realized why the boat was so amazing. The whole time I was sitting there I never realized how fast we were going, or even noticed the other traffic on the lake. All I could see were the houses, the wonderful scenery, and how good it felt to have the wind in my hair. Sounds cheezy, I know, but its the only way to decribe it.
We spent almost five hours on the boat, and it never felt that long at all. I will admit, I didn't jump in the water when we stopped in the middle of the lake, although Maddie did and I practilly had to bribe her with money to get her out, but I did finally realize what all the fuss was about, and I can't wait to go again!!

My New Job

2005-06-20T09:10:00.000-04:00

Well, due to some child care issues (view previous blog) I have recently been almost forced to find a new job. Well, The job I found is in the same field I left to go about 2 years ago....Day Care. It was not my first choice, but I figured that it would be easy getting back into it and it wouldn't be too stressful.
Now, normally I am not a cocky person, but I feel that I know quite a bit about working it the day care field (that is what my degree is in after all) so I was very confident about going on the interview. And when I got the job I was pretty excited. But I had no idea that I feel like I do now.
I have always loved working with kids...especially toddlers. I just think they are so fun and it is such a wonderful feeling to have them learn something that I taught them. I can honesty say now that I feel like I am where I should be and where I am happiest.
I have never felt like this at a job, and even though at the the end of every day I am so tired I can hardly stand myself, I look forward to going to work again the next day. I feel at ease when I am there, and it is a job that I feel so natural at. It just feels so good to be back, and I can only hope that it will stay this way.

bunkbeds and doctors offices

2005-06-20T08:37:00.000-04:00

Well, Colin got his new bunkbed, well not new, but new to us, two weeks ago. He loved it. He was so excited to have his bunkbeds that he has been waiting for all winter. Every night he starts on the top bunk, but before he even falls asleep he moves to the bottom and that is where he sleeps.
Well, last Monday, it was an especially hot night, and he decided he wanted to sleep on the top bunk so he could stay cool with the ceiling fan. I said sure, and went into my room. Well, at about 10:30, I heard a big thud, and it was Colin on the floor in his room. Well, I grabbed him, put him on the bed, and began to do the body scan. There were no bumps or red marks, which made me even more nervous because I have always been told that if you can see it its ok, but if you can't, there could be something internal going on. This was also one of the times I was so glad he was 6 and could tell me what hurt. Now, when I asked him, all he said hurt was his arm, which I found strange because I assumed he landed on his head.
So, I called my mother, figuring she would tell me he was o.k. and put him back to bed. Well, she told me to call the doctor (which freaked me out even more), and the doctor said to ice his arm, wake him up every now and then, and bring him to the office in the morning.
Well, in the morning, Colin and I headed to the doctors office, and once again I thought they would tell me that he was o.k., and to send him back to school. Well, after the x-rays we realized that his wrist was broken, and that contrary to popular opinion, Colin does have a high tolerance for pain!! So, at the doctors office they put him in a splint (because of the swelling) and told us to come back the next Tuesday to have it casted.
So, over the next few days, I kept noticing that his fingers were swelling up more and more. Well, on Thursday I called my mom, expecting to get the "perfectly normal" response (although I should have learned) and once again I was told to call the doctors office. Well, once again they told me to bring him in to the office first thing in the morning and they could check it out. So, back we went on Friday, and got more x-rays and we were told that it was not healing right, and that we had to go to the orthopedic so he could see it. (Now, I have to add that I was already feeling like a terrible mother because I let my son sleep on the top bunk with no guard, but now I am thinking I have permently screwed up my sons left wrist (and he is a lefty) for the rest of his life!!)
So, off we went to ANOTHER doctor on Friday afternoon. Now, I was expecting the worse and a lecture, but he said that I was healing fine, but that it had to be casted right away. So, he put on a glow in the dark green cast for Colin (his favorite color), and then told us that the cast could come off in two to three weeks!! Yeah!!!
So, now Colin is the new celebrity at school and he gets to have all his friends sign his cast and he won't have a cast on all summer! And I don't feel nearly as bad about no guard on the bed, but I won't let him sleep on the top bunk until Pepere puts on the guard because lord knows I want to be done with doctors offices for the rest of the summer!

June 6th

2005-06-01T20:52:00.000-04:00

This day is fast approaching and the closer it gets, the crazier I get. You would think that I would be ok with it by now, but every year I get crazy, and I know why I am crazy, and I know that I am going to be crazy, but yet each year the same thing happens.
The funny thing is that I know what I should do...double up on my meetings, call my sponsor, read the big book, etc. But do I? Hell no!! I just act and think crazy and try to be superwoman, and make up a million reasons why I can't do what I am supposed to do (and people wonder why I am psychotic!!!!)
When the day finally comes around, I usually forget what day it is until about noon, and then its almost as if I have a spiritual awakening because the knot is gone in my stomach, my head shuts off, by heart stops beating a million miles a minute and I realize that I have made it through another year.
The strangest thing is that I can always look back on the years and pin point the major life change I am going through at that time of the year. It has been something every year and it just adds to the chaos already in my life.
Well, it felt good to get that out, and the most important thing that I need to remember is that I always get through, and when it is all done, I can say "now, what was all the fuss about?"

Mothers and Sons

2005-06-01T20:34:00.000-04:00

"A son is a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life"

I remember my mother saying this to me when my friend was pregnant with her second son and I couldn't understand why she wanted a girl so bad. I actually thought it was a terrible thing that she wasn't just happy that her baby was healthy. Since then I have heard many women say that they're third or fouth baby was their try for a girl and I can't seem to understand why. I feel the same when I hear of women having three or four girls and never having a disire for a son. Maybe its the fact that I am a single mother, or maybe its that he is the only boy in the house, but I can't ever see my boy not being a mama's boy for the rest of his life.
My boy is the epitome of a "Mama's Boy". There is an ongoing joke that if his head could be surgically attached to my ass, it would be. If I am the only one sitting on the couch, then he will come right over to me and sit on my lap (and he is 65 lbs now!). When the s**t hits the fan, than I am the only one who can calm him down, and make him feel alright.
I feel that the ultimate attachment is the drop off's we go through and his ongoing separation anxiety. Here is a kid that has been in some kind of school for the past five and a half years, and he still gets teary when I drop him off at school, at the babysitters or wherever. I am always called back for one more kiss and hug and I love you. It still breaks my heart everytime.
I will sometimes sit and think about a reality that may come true one day....getting pregnant again and having another son. I think that he would be so heart broken that it may make his attachment even worse (even if he is eighteen when it happens!).
The one thing I do know is that he is my boy, and he will be for the rest of my life.

Where did she come from??

2005-05-29T11:53:00.000-04:00

My wonderful daughter...I have no idea which gene pool she is from, because as the days go by, I realize she is less and less like me!! Which in some cases is good because she didn't inherit my flaws and shortcomings, but on the other hand, she can drive me crazy at the same time!
There are times I watch her and I see so much of myself in her, like the way she can hold a grudge for up to three years, like the way she will still remind me about the time I wouldn't let her get a toy she wanted because she and her brother were misbehaving in a store, and how it was "all Colin's fault". Or the way she will do ANYTHING for her friends, like the way she will go onto the playground at school after I have told her not to because her "best friend" has told her to go. But mostly, I see myself in her when she is so afraid to try something new because she is afraid she won't be good at it. These are the times that I know she has definitely inherited my "all or nothin" attitude.
But even though she has these similarities with me, she most certainly has so many qualities that aren't me. Her girly attitude is not mine. Nothing is or ever has been more comfortable to me then sweats and a t-shirt, but yet she will do anything to wear a skirt or dress every day just so she can look like a "supermodel" (which is what she wants to be when she grows up). Or the way she is so DAMN smart that she just gets things. I have to look at something and practically have it drilled into my head in order for me to get it, only to forget in ten minutes! But lastly, her self confidence about the things she knows is so overwhelmingly high, that it makes me wish she never looses it. For example, yesterday we were walking into the grocery store and I realized I forgot to put in one of her ponytails that had fallen out. So I said to her "Oh hunny, I forgot to put in your ponytail" and her reply to me was so natural when she said "It's o.k. mama, I am still beautiful!!" It was after that remark that inspired this blog.
As a mother, there are a lot of things that I hope for my daughter. I hope she will always be happy, that a boy never breaks her heart, and that she will always feel comfortable enough to come to me about anything, but mostly I just hope that she will never change, because I can't imagine loving her more than I do!

Child Care

2005-05-25T05:43:00.000-04:00

Who would have thought that those two words could take on a thousand different emotions? That those two little words could have a mom is such a state of nervousness that she sits at work, feeling the previous meal coming up, and just trying to write in her blog!! That would describe the way I feel right now, sitting at work, at 2:00 a.m.
Let me start from the beginning....This seems to be the start of many blogs for me. Since I work nights, I have to find "Child Care" that will come to me. This is convenient yes, but I have learned can be hard. This is when a mom really has to try to use her best judge of character in order to find a sitter, or she has to have really good friends who are willing and able to help her out. Unfortunately, I have to pick the first because my friends either can't (for reasons I can't get into because I have finally let them go) or they live too far away.
I was forced to hire someone that I found very nice upon the first meeting. She was 32 years old, lots of experience and lots of references. I was so grateful that I was able to find someone like this. What I didn't realize was that some people make a terrible first impression but end up being unbelievable, and other make a great first impression, but end up being monsters!! I am now employing a monster.
Like I said, she was great at first, the kids loved her, I loved her, she was very flexible, and really seemed to like what she was doing. The a few months passed, and things started going wrong. I would ask her not to do something, and she would still do it, and when I asked her again not to do it, she would get mad at me for even asking her to stop, as if she never had any plans of stopping in the first place. Also, and I feel most importantly, another thing that bothers me is the way she talks to my children. Now I am a pretty easy going parent, but I draw the line at someone telling my child that if they ever wake her up in the middle of the night again, then she would "F**king Smack" her. But, this is a topic that I won't even start with, because then I won't stop.
I guess there is a happy ending to this story, this monster will no longer be torturing my children, and I will finally be able to go to work, and not worry about how my children are, I will finally know that they are o.k.

"I told you so!"

2005-05-19T00:42:00.000-04:00

Well, this post starts out on a negative feel, and basically that is what it is all about. One never knows how much four little words can bother a person, until they hear it a few too many times. Now I know in my lifetime, I have made some "silly" decisions, some may even call them huge mistakes, but I have always learned from them. That is what I feel is the bonus about it, that we learn from the decisions we make, and go on in our lives. But it is especially hard when you know, there will be that one person who will continually say "I told you so" when you are making what could be a monumentally bad decision.
Here is the basic reason for all this ranting and raving. I recently decided that since my finances are a fiasco, I needed to get a roommate. Now, for some it may be easy, but for me there are a lot of channels I need to go through to get this done. I won't go through everything, but lets just say before I even asked anyone to move in with me, I had about two weeks of phone calls, meetings and practically begging in order for this to come about. So, I finally get the green light, and I find a roommate. Everything is looking good, and it looks like I may be on my way to finantial happiness.
But, of course, in typical Megan fashion, things begin to fall through. Now I am not upset about the roommate not becoming my roommate, what I am upset about is all the "I told you so"'s I will be receiving. It just drives me crazy.
I am 30 years old, for Gods sake, and I think that although I may do things that people may not agree with, I have thought them out and weighed the negatives and positives before coming to any decision. I no longer fly by the seat of my pants when it comes to life altering decisions, becoming a mother certainly changed all that for me. But, people in my life like to think that I cannot think for myself and that I don't think things through and that I am bound to screw up my life. The ironic thing is that these are the same people that are telling me that I have to do things for myself!!
Ahhh...Well that felt good and I did not mention any names (and trust me, nobody will ever be able to figure out who I am speaking of), but I just needed to put all the thoughts in my head into my giant cauldron and just let them go!

The Big Win!!

2005-05-10T16:44:00.000-04:00

I am a person that never wins. I scratch tickets every now and then, and only one out of 100 times, I win, and usually win $2.00! I will always buy raffle tickets, or any other kind of chance that people are selling, but I still will never have the winning ticket. In fact, on a recent scrapbooking weekend, there were about 500 chances to win, and even though just about every person I was with won something, my name was never called. But all that changed yesterday morning.
I was on my way home from work, and in such a daze that that the radio was just a buzz that was blending into the sound of the engine. At a red light, a point in my driving I was forced to pay attention, I heard the D.J. announce that the "mega-mix" was coming up and the "25th caller would win tickets to summer jam" (a concert being held by the radio station". So I grabbed my phone and decieded that would be an easy way to keep me from falling asleep, and waited...all the time figuring that I would never win.
Well, then the mix came on...I dialed the number...and it started to ring (now two or three years ago this would be a good sign, but now the phone always rings, but an annoying recording comes and says that all circuts are busy)...and after the third ring, there was no recording, and somebody picked up. Well, needless to say, I didn't know what to say because it was not what I was expecting. I started to yell like a crazy person, and I was told that I may not be the winner, but to hold on the line, and NO SWEARING!! So I waited, and waited and waited until I heard the D.J. say "Megan, your the winner!!". I couldn't belive it I was the THE BIG WINNER!!
The funniest part about it was that Brandy heard the whole thing as it was happening. She called and said "I knew I recognized that voice!"
Needless to say, it set the mood for the rest of the day, and started the week off right, and lord knows I am in desperate need for a good week!
Well, June 4th is the big day, and I can't wait. Even if the concert sucks, at least I didn't have to pay for the tickets!

End of the Semester

2005-05-03T10:31:00.000-04:00

Well, my wonderful semester is finally wrapping up, and I am thrilled. No more word problems, and no more stressing over what region has the most oil production. This semester, actually this year, has really sucked. I was so excited to come to this school because it was a "real" school and I was ready to learn. But the further I got through the semester, the more I realized I had so much to learn in such a short period of time.
Let me back track a little. When I was at Bunker Hill, a local community collage, I knew all my professors because there were only 4 who taught in the ECE (early childhood education)program. They were all very understanding to my situation, and were more then happy to help me if I needed it. I walked out of that school with my degree and a gpa of 3.0--which was better than I ever did in high school!! Also, I came to know a lot of people, because almost all of my classes had to do with ECE, so there was a group of about 20 of us who were always in the same class. It made class so much easier when you were familiar with everyone, and not just a bunch of strangers who sat around before class and stared at each other!!
Fast forward to Salem State. O.k. So the student body is A LOT younger (look at previous post), but that's ok, I can deal with it. The work is harder (I think I am the only one in both classes that has any kids or any stress for that matter), and the professors are less understanding. For example, when I told on of my professors last semester that I couldn't make it to a certain class when there was a test due to child care problems (this was two weeks prior, mind you), he gave me a day to make up the test, which was of course a day that I couldn't make it (C.C.P.'s) and he said that is the only day I could and if I didn't make it, I would get a zero on the test!!!! So after lots of juggling, and telling a lie to get out of work, I made it up. Now I know he didn't have to even do that for me, but c'mon, I am one of the only ones in that class that actually participates..everyone else is either sleeping, talking on cell phones, or talking.
I definitely didn't expect it to be like Bunker Hill, I knew that it would be harder, classes would be bigger, and professors less understanding, but I had no idea that it would be like this. The one thing that keeps me going this semester is the start of next year, I will actually be taking classes that have to do with my major!! That is my area of confidence and the place that I feel o.k.
All I can do now is just finish up my work (I just printed out my last extra credit project) and hope that September will come all will be right in my world....Well, at least not as bad as this year!!!

Incredible People

2005-04-30T06:43:00.000-04:00

And I do not mean this in a positive way. In the wonderful state I live in I think it is amazing just how closed minded people are. Yesterday as I was watching the news (see dad...I do watch it!!) there was a story of a man named David Parker who was arrested for protesting a book that had same sex parents in it. Here are a few of the quotes that really made me upset:

"This is propaganda. This is meant to form things in a child's mind at an early age," said same-sex marriage opponent Brian Camenker, of Article 8 Alliance.

"What I am saying is, because of the same-sex marriage law, people are treating it as a mandate to teach the youngest of children. It is not a mandate to teach the youngest of children, particularly if parents say, 'Hold on, I want to be the gatekeeper of the information. It is not that I don't want my child to ever learn it, it is I want to control the timing and manner,'" Parker said.

I guess the reason this is bothering me so much is because my children seen this their whole lives, and because it is handled so naturally within my family, then they don't see anything strange or different about it.
Maybe they have been lucky to have been exposed to all different kinds of families, but I think all children should see it. I mean come on...we are living in 2005, not 1945. But most importantly, lets remember what is most important...the kids.

Old Lady on Campus

2005-04-22T04:46:00.000-04:00

Well, you can probably tell by the title just what this blog is about. The fact that I am surrounded by 18 year-olds at my wonderful School. I never thought it would bother me this much, but over the past few months it has really gotten to me.
Now, I did all my other schooling at a community college, where the average age of students was 25-30...just my age range. But now that I am at a bigger school, I am realizing just how many young kids are there and how many older students aren't. There are just some things that really get me about the whole thing, and what a fantastic forum to get it all out!
I guess one of the things is that the other students treat me regular, until they find out my age, and then it is different (I am just waiting for someone to call me ma'am!!!!). My lab partner last semester, after finding out how old I was, actually said to me "Wow, I can't believe your that old. If I didn't know how old you were, and I saw you on campus, I would probably talk to you!. I won't say what I wanted to do or say, so I just laughed it off.
The other thing is that it kills me to hear kids bitch and moan about their "bills". In one of my classes I constantly had to listen to a girl talk about her mean and awful mother who would not give her money to go grocery shopping. Now, if this was the kind of mother who didn't make her daughter get a job I could (kinda) cope with her, but not only did this girl have a job, but she also had a meal allowance! Once again I bit my tongue and didn't say what I wanted to, which was "Look, honey, you want to talk about bills, walk in my shoes!!!"
On a positive note, I will say that the one thing that has been my saving grace is the CALL center (center for adult learning). It is a room that has a big table, a computer, copy machine, couches, resources for parenting, managing your money, etc., and most importantly FREE COFFEE. Of course the first time I walked in I thought they were going to ask for I.D. because they were probably thinking that I was just there for the free coffee, but as the semester progressed, I made a few friends, and they knew that it was ok that I was there. (haha) But most importantly, I was O.K. with being there because I realized that it wasn't so bad (and I wasn't the only) Old Lady on Campus,

My computer

2005-04-20T01:53:00.000-04:00

Well, here I am at work, writting my blog at 1:43 a.m. Now, I really wanted to write yesterday, but my computer, with the split personality, decided that I was not going to do that, and it has been frozen since. I can't get it to turn off, even when I press the button, which only proves my theory right that my computer has a mind of its own, and does what it wants!
Now, to fix it is not a big deal. I can just bring it to Circut City to have it fixed and they will just wipe it out, and anything that I really want, has already been saved to a disk (my dad and sis taught me well!!) They will clean it, then I can take it home, hook it back up, and all will be well.
But, that is not the thing that gets me...its the people at Circut City. Here is what happens, I start by telling the person that there is something wrong with my computer, and they say "are you sure?" "No, I was bored so I decided to take a ride here and waste your time and mine!!" When I then tell them what is wrong, then they ask me numerous questions as if this is my first time ever seeing a computer! These questions consitst of "Did you press control-alt-delete" "Did you shut it down Properly" and my favorite "What kind of websites do you visit?" which is a nice way of saying, "Have you visited any porn sites lately?". I mean, c'mon, lets be real!
Now, here comes the good part, they hook it up to a computer and let it try to detect any problems. They then say, just loud enough so other customers can hear, "You have 57 vires. Do you know how you could have gotten these virus'" What I want to say is "Look, sh**head, if I knew how I got them, don't you think I would have told you!!", but being the polite person I am, I will sweetly say "No". Then the bomb gets dropped, I am told that it will not be ready for 48 hours. Now, that does not mean 48 hours from drop off, in circut city time that means at least 3 days, and that is only if I am lucky. Sometimes, I will go back in the three days, and I am told that it is not ready yet, but to call (not come back) the next day to see what is going on.
So, like I said, I know that the computer will get done, and I will be happy with it, but the process leading up to it, is what will hinder me from actually going to have it done!!

**I just want to say, that I used Circut City because it is where I frequent, but feel free to fill in any other computer store when reading this if it helps you identify better!

Laundry

2005-04-15T08:44:00.000-04:00

O.K. so it is a pretty general title, but lets think about this. I am a pretty busy person, as any other mother is, but why is that no matter how much laundry I do, it is never done.
The reason I am writing about this is because I have a day off today, and when I say a day off, I mean no kids, no school, no work last night, etc, and I should be relaxing and taking advantage of it, but I can't. As I look in my kitchen, I see the pile of dirty clothes that is making my stomach turn.
Now, the only people in my house is me and the babies, and I just can't understand how so much damn laundry can pile up in a matter of one or two days. I do understand that Colin will take off his clothes when we get home and puts on boxer shorts, and Maddie will put on a dress as soon as she gets home, but even still, that is not enough clothes for so much laundry!
As I hear the dryer buzzer go off, I have come to the conclusion that this is just another big mystery of life and I may never figure out the answer. The only thing I can positively conclude is that I may never have a day when there is not at least one load of laundry to do.

The First Game of the Season

2005-04-14T19:30:00.000-04:00

Saturday April 9th was an exciting day in the Jones house....it was our (well Maddie and Colin) first soccer game of the season. I was just as excited as the kids were, but little did I know what was going to happen on this day!
Let me just begin by saying we have swimming lessons on saturdays from 8-9, so our day was starting out crazy, but my kids are just like me and they work best under pressure! So after swimming lessons we run home, to get ready. Now I am filling water bottles, grabbing sandwiches for the ride home, while the kids were getting into their soccer attire. As they walked into the kitchen I almost fell down, they looked so damn cute with their little shorts and chin pads....ooohhhh I could have eaten them up!!!
So we go to the field, (which due to the wonderful N.E. weather we had this winter, was inside because none of the outdoor fields were ready!) and we head in. I think there was every six year old in Woburn there, along with one or both parents (little intimidating). Maddie and Colin found their coach, and started to practice. Now they were practicing on the other side of the field, so I really couldn't see what was going on and I began to get bored, so being the social butterfly that I am, I made some new friends and we began to exchange stories about our children and so on.
Now the game is about to begin. The kids get on the field in their respective positions (2 fowards, one defence, one goalie and one other kid that I can't figure out his/her position), and the game begins. Now Maddie and Colin weren't in the first heat, so I wasn't too anxious, but I knew it was coming....my kids on the field. Maddie was put in forward position, and Colin was in the position I don't understand. So the coach takes a minute to talk to each kid and let them know what to do, the kids get ready, the ref drops the ball, and...the kids do nothing except talk to eachother, play with their hair, stare at the ball, etc. When the ref tells them to go after the ball, the forwards go after it, that is all of them except Maddie, she runs right off the field!!!!! Now, as an avid soccer player for many years, as well as a mother who was just very proudly pointing out her daughter...my jaw hit the floor! So the coach walked her back on the field, talked to her for a minute, and gave me a nod as if to say "not to worry". Well, when the ref dropped the ball again, the kids remembered to do just what they did before, and that includes Maddie running off the field again!!
She never did get back into the game, but her and I had a little talk. She will go to every practice, and get dressed for every game, but if she doesn't want to play in the game, I won't force her to, but she will go and stay for the whole game, but the most important thing to her is that she doesn't have to play in the game.
Well, who knows if I will ever be writing here saying that she is the top scorer in the league, who knows....but for right now, we are just trying to convince her to get into the game.