It sunk in!

I MISS MY BABIES! There, I said it. Maddie and Colin have been gone for over 4 weeks and I am dying! I am counting down the minutes until Tuesday when I am flying to Boston to see them.

Now, anyone who knows anything about me knows that it has been me and them, against the world, for the past 9 years. I don't see their father, so I am not one of the lucky, every other weekend off single parents. Yes, I have always plenty of babysitters if I need them (and lord knows I needed them!!), but I was never away from my babies more than an overnight, or the occational weekend. Which always seemed like just long enough for all of us. By the time I saw them we missed eachother just enough to be happy to see eachother, but not enough to cause tears and distress.

Well, last summer was the ultimate test for the three of us. My dad and I came down to florida for two weeks so I could get everything set up for me and the babies. I had only two weeks to find a place to live, get a job, and somewhat learn my way around before I came down here by myself with the babies. Well, needless to say, since I had Bob Jones with me, we got it ALL done four days before we had to go home. But, I was missing the babies one week into that trip, and when we finally got home, my mom couldn't get to airport fast enough, and when she did, I couldn't keep my hands off my babies I missed them so much. I had no idea how much my heart was going to hurt being away from them for two whole weeks.

Well, when my parents asked me about taking the kids for the summer up north for the summer, I thought that it would be good for them and for me. I wouldn't have to worry about child care, and I would be able to work my ass off. Well, I had NO idea how much I would miss them or how lonely I would be. Sure, at first I was nice to sleep late, go where I wanted, when I wanted, without the constant "can I get this?", but now, after all this time, I am dying! And the teary phone calls from them arn't helping. I know that they have been having a blast seeing thier cousins. aunts, uncles, and friends they haven't seen all year, and that makes me feel better, but I am still missing them so much that I am ok with taking a plane (which everyone knows how much I hate that) just to hug and kiss them.

I know that the week I spend up north is going to go by too quickly, but I am hoping that it will help all of us get through the rest of the summer. I can honestly say that I had no idea how much I would miss them, but I find piece of mind knowing that they are having the time of thier lives!

I love and miss you Maddie and Colin!

-Meg

too long

Well, I know it's been a while, but things have gone from crazy to absolute insane in the past few weeks, that I don't know weather to stratch my watch or wind my butt! It makes me so thankful for my vaca because I think it gave me the recharge that I needed to make me keep going. So, here is a recap to all that has happened...

Maddie and Colin did very well on their last report cards, and they were promoted to 4th (OMG) grade! It is so hard to believe that they are already there. I know it sounds clishe, but it really does feel like yesterday I was bringing them home from the hospital and they were so dependent on me. Now they are so independent and can do so much for themselves, it makes me feel so un-needed!! I know this is so far from the truth, and anyone who has seen my kids know this is far from reality, I still feel like they are growing too fast and I want to pause time so I can enjoy them longer. I am saying this, too, as they are sitting in Kingston NH with my parents for 7 weeks and I am in Florida, unable to kiss them goodnight. I know that they are in great hands, and they are seeing everyone who they miss, but I miss them tremendously and the summer can't end fast enough! But, I will be going home visit on July 1 to visit. Now, I am so scared about flying alone (trust me, I was trying to get on a train instead), but its to see my babies and all my friends so I will try to get through the flight without having a nervous breakdown. Don't get me wrong, there will be some tears, and maybe even some blubbering, but other then that I will think about where I am going and who I am going to see; my babies, my new neice as well as her brother and sister, my new godson and his mom, and my freinds and family I haven't seen in a year, that it should help me get through the flight!!

Well, the other big news is that I have found my house I am going to rent at the end of july. Most of you know how much I hate where I live. And in my defense, I viewed the complex on a Wed. afternoon at 1:00ish, so I had no idea what is was like once the sun went down, and let me tell you, it ain't pretty!! I hate my neighbors, I hate thier friends, and I hate the location of my apartment! But, thankfully, I will be renting a great house in a great location and my only concern is how I am I going to get enough furniture to fill it, as opposed to worring if my car is going to get stolen or if I am going to be woken up at 3:00 a.m. by the cops breaking up a fight! So, only a few more weeks and I am hoping it will all work out...keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer that it does.

Now, the last piece of news is that my sister is down here with me. I would love to say that it is a visit to see her baby sister, but it is a "business trip". She and her husband just bought a house down here for them to move into in about 2 years. The house is great and I am so excited for them. I have been helping her as much as I can this week, but she has been hauling ass, and quite frankly I am really impressed! She leaves on Saturday (tear) but we are spending so much time together, and even though she gets pissed at me pretty easily, I will miss her when she is gone. I don't know which is worse, not seeing someone for a year, like my sister Melissa, or seeing for a short time and having to say goodbye, like my other sisters Mary and Meredith. Well either way, it sucks not having family around all the time, and this summer is making me see just how much I love my family and how much I want to see them!

Well, my wrists are starting to hurt (I am not used to the laptop yet, Mere!!) so thats it. I will be checking in more now that I am not so busy, so until next time...

Meg