I got tagged

I was tagged by rainbow mama. Being new to the blogging world, I am going to do my best, and hopefully I will look back and laugh at what a goof I was!

7 things I want to do before I die:
1. See my children grow up and be happy without too much therapy
2. Move out of massachusetts
3. Get my masters degree
4. Meet the man of my dreams and not let him get away this time!!
5. Travel to at least one forign country (I'm not picky)
6. Not live paycheck to paycheck
7. See Jaime graduate from collage

7 things I cannot do:
1. Sing on tune
2. Not be like my mother (see number 1!!)
3. Take a week off of work
4. Stand up to people I am closest to
5. Stop droppin the "F" bomb every five minutes
6. Save money (I am workin on it though)
7. Live without my babies

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. Drive
2. Making me laugh
3. Honesty (althought that seems to get me into touble...Tony??)
4. Respect
5. Self-esteem
6. Ability to dance
7. Chest (it had to go in there)

7 things that I say most often:
1. Ya think??
2. Thank God for you!
3. a doo--scrapadoo, walkadoo, etc.
4. Shut the F**k up!! (see there is the "F" bomb)
5. Fabulous
6. I said NO!!
7. Hey Dawg!

7 celebrity crushes:
1. Leland (from dog- bounty hunter---his body is to die for!!)
2. Matt Damon
3. Jay-Z
4. 50 cent (muscles)
5. Britney Spears (my guilty pleasure)
6. King Kaysar (grrrrr)
7. John - Paul Lavoisier (sexy rexy!!)


7 people I want to do this: (although you are absolutely not obligated)
1.stephanie
(she is the only other person who I know who blogs)

Holy s**t!!

Ok, so I am not any kind of political activist, but on a recent trip to my sisters blog, I decided to look at another blog she had a link to (I am so nosey its scary!!). Well, on this blog it had the cost of the war (which I have seen before) but then it had a link to see what could be done with the money that has been spent on the war, and let me tell you, it was amamzing. For what the war has cost us, we could have built over one million new public housing buildings, gave over 100,000 children insurance, and given away almost 200,000 scholarships to kids to go to public collages for the full four years!! Needless to say I was floored!

Being a person who does rely somewhat on help from the government, I wanted to throw the computer out the window for a number of reasons. Now, I am not saying that I should be getting more and that is why I was so mad...I know that I am VERY lucky to be getting what I am getting and I don't take it for granted. What got me the most is that I know people who are struggling and can't get any help because of recent "cuts". For example, there is a woman who I work with who has a son that is 4 years old and requires special needs care. Now, she is doing the "right thing" and going to school, as well as working 32 hrs a week (nights, no less) and trying to provide a good life for her son while making ends meet. Now, she receives some assistance with her child care, but on a recent visit she was told that she may not qualify any longer because of her income. Now, my question is (and I would love to get the opportunity to ask GWB this), if she pays the full amount for child care, she will barely have enough to live, therefore discouraging her from wanting to work a "full time job", therefore, forcing her to cut down her hours at work and once again putting her in a position to rely on the government and once again making her feel like crap for not being able to provide for her son!!!

This is just one example of the viscous circle that people go through. I could sit and talk about many more, but I don't have the time and the energy to do that. I know that my blog is not read by the "big man" so it won't make too much difference, but I just had to get on my soapbox for a minute and do a little vomiting!!

Friends for life

Well, I guess this blog is inspired by the passing of my friend Brian. He was 25 years old, and I have known him for almost 8 years. His death was unexpected, and very heartbreaking and really took a toll on me. It also didn't hit me until I saw all the people it affected. I am still in shock because of it, and it still doesn't seem completely real.

I am a person that lives by the saying "everything happens for a reason". Although I am not sure yet what the reason is yet, I am sure what his death is making me realize...life is short. The choices I make, the people who I choose to call friends, and my way of looking at things has changed drastically in just a few short weeks. One decision in particular has really been made for me with his passing and I am taking every step necessary to ensure it becomes real.

Now, here is where the friends come in. I have always been a person who has about three or four close friends, and a lot of friends (not as close). I will do anything for my friends, even if means neglecting my needs to make sure theirs are met, after all, isn't that what friendship is about? What I am realizing is that some of my "close" friends are just in this friendship for themselves, and really aren't there for my needs, only theirs. The other thing that I have come to realize is that these seem to be the kind of friends who I gravitate towards. I am not sure if it is because I am a caretaker to the extreme or if it because I am a sucker who has a "use me" sign on my forehead, or if it is because I am too scared to have no friends so I do what I have to keep the ones I have. Either way, I am now making the steps in my life to change that. At the point I am FINALLY at in my life, I would rather have no friends, than have ones that don't reciprocate what I am giving them.

I am no longer going to put my life, family, job, ect. on hold for petty bulls**t just because a "friend" in my life needs me. I have to start remembering the main thing (I feel) Brian forgot....I need to be o.k. with me or else I am useless to anyone else.

Questions from a first grader

"What is a Staff Lounge?"
"How do You spell number (or me, my, one, room, pen, etc.)?"
"What is Heaven Like?"
"When can I be a super model?"
"Why can't I wear my pink shirt with my pink pants?"
"Why can't we walk to Auntie Meredith and Auntie Jess' house?"
"What is an alklohic (alcoholic)?"
"Can I have cookies for breakfast?"
"Why do you have to go to work?"
"Why do you need money?"
"Why do you need to pay bills?"
"Who puts up the stars?"
"How does and airplane stay in the air?"

Does this expain my insanity???!!!

SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!

Well its been almost two months since my last blog and quite frankly I am very ashamed of myself! I check my sisters blog every other day to see what she has and I have the audacity to get mad when she doesn't update every other day!

If I had to sum up what my life has been like over the past two months in a word it would be.....STOP!! That is all I want to happen. Sounds good in theory, but is so unrealistic I could cry!

What could I possibly want to stop...I mean according to some my life is pretty easy and they don't know how I handle it so well, but these are the people who conveniently put blinders on when I comes to looking at anyone else because their lives are "so hard". These people forget just how good they have it, and have NO idea what my life is like.

Now, this is not going to be a blog from my damn soapbox because lord knows I am too tired....just from this week I feel I could collapse, but when I sit back and think about my life and what is expected of me every day, it makes me wonder if the old saying is true (or if some very sick person made it up to make people like me feel better) "God will never give you more than you can handle". To that I say HAHAHAHA.

I have no idea how I am handling everything in my life right now. Between getting the kids to school, getting my to work, doing all that is expected of me in my work (curriculums, lessons, cleaning, rotating, potty training, and dealing with women!), cook, clean, get things ready for school/work the next day, shopping, laundry, quality time with the kids, swimming lessons, maintaining some kind of a social life, working my "other" job, I have learned the following things:

1. Multitasking is not so hard
2. I don't have to do everything in one day, I can put off a few things for tomorrow and nobody will get hurt.
3. I don't have to be the perfect mom/teacher/daughter/sister/etc.
4. At the end of the day when my head goes on the pillow, the only person that has to be happy is me, and if I am, then all is good.

These are the things that get me through the day. Even though all I want to do these days is STOP, I know I can't, and I am o.k. with that.