Here I go again

Well, Here I am, blogging at 7 in the morning (I am never up this early) and I am realizing for as much as I think I know about computers, I really know nothing. Even though I will try to fix things on my own, I will usually end up either screwing things up even more, or deleting things that I need. Where is my sister when I need her!!

Here is what happened...I woke this morning at 6 (ya, that's right 6 a.m.) and I could not fall back asleep, so I figured I would take advantage of the fact that the kids were still sleeping, and make my coffee and do some surfin (something I never get the opportunity to do). Well, as I was sitting here, I decided to change the look of my blog (I was getting pretty bored with it, as were all my other readers!!) so I started to take a look the different templates, and fonts and so on. Well, I found one I really liked (I am such a lover of pink) and changed it. Well, it changed my template all right, it also wiped out all the little links I had as well (the ones my Mere put up for me). Oh God...Now what!

So, I said (in my non-caffeine/nicotine haze) "I can fix this". Well, this is when I need to stress the fact that I SHOULD NOT try anything new without my morning jump start, because when I did try not only could I not figure out what to do, I started yelling at the computer (as if it was going to talk back to me and give me answers) and I woke up the little monsters (maddie and colin), and they are NOT morning people!!

So, I make a request to you, Meredith, my very smart, wonderful, beautiful sister, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME!!! Make my blog look good again...I am afraid to try to fix this so that I don't throw my computer out the window!!

I did it!

Well, yesterday was the day that I have been dreading for a few weeks now...whether or not I was going to leave my job. After drastic hour cuts at my work, I had decided that if hours weren't brought back up, I was going to give my letter of resignation. Yesterday was the big day and I was ready. I had my letter written, printed, copies made, and sealed in envelopes and ready to go. Needless to say I was nervous, but the outcome was not what I had expected....They took the letter of resignation and said they were sorry to see me go.

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

Now, my self esteem about a lot of things in my life is not very high, but when it comes to working with kids, I know I am VERY good at what I do. I know how to speak to them, how to plan age appropriate activities, how to train other people work with them, and (not to brag) but I just have a way with kids, I always have. My family has always encouraged me to pursue that career because of the way I am with kids. I am not sure if it is because I am kid myself, I just know that it is the one career that I can do so natural and not think about, I am able to just do it. I am not intimidated or afraid I am going to screw up when I am in that setting, I can just be.

So, after being at a job that I was told I was (and I quote) "the best teacher in the room, perhaps even the center" I was pretty shocked that they were not eager to keep me. I know that statement is very self righteous, but I really did not expect them to let me go. Not that I expected them to beg me to stay, but I was at least hoping for some kind of counter offer, but it didn't happen.

I guess its the nature of the beast of child care. I have always been told day care teachers are a dime a dozen and anyone can be replaced. But here is one thing I do know, I will not let this shatter my image of myself. I know that being with kids is where I belong and this is just another learning experience for me.

The poor boy

My poor boy...He is stuck in a house with two chicks, neither of whom know anything about boy stuff. Sure, we can tell him how to dress, make his hair look handsome, or perhaps put on make-up (LOL), but when it comes to boy things, we are both at a loss! This was proven so clear yesterday.

Myself and the kids went to our friends new baby's christening party. I was a little nervous on how the kids would be because they didn't know anybody, but the three of us had a pep talk on the car ride there and I was feeling pretty confident that all would be good. Well we got there and the kids sat down to eat. I could tell Colin was nervous, because he didn't have his full appetite (he did eat good, but not as much as usual), but he seemed ok. Well, my friend then asked him if he wanted to go outside to play football with the boys. Now, anyone who knows my son knows that he goes no place new with out me, but he must have felt ok to go with my friend because he went and never even asked me to go with him.

When Maddie was finished eating (and the girl ate A LOT!) she and I went outside. Well, this is when I realized I need to by the book "raising boys for dummies" because the poor kid had no idea whatsoever how to play football. Sure, he had the running thing down, but as for catching, throwing, or tackling, he didn't have a clue! As I sat there and watched him all I could think was "why didn't I pay attention to my father on one of the thousand occatitions when he tried to explain the game to me, then I could have passed it on to Colin and he could have had a little more of a clue on what he was supposed to be doing.

He did end up getting more of an idea on what to do (with lots of coaching from my friend) and having a great time. And I realized (as well as someone pointed out to me) as sensitive as my son is, he really is all boy and loves to act like one!

Job Interviews

Well, after finding what I thought was to be my dream job, it has now turned into the job from hell. I love what I do, and I love my kids, but because it is such a small center, and enrollment is down, then hours have been getting cut. Being a single mother I am not able to survive on what I am currently making (I was barely surviving before). I could pick up hours at the hospital, but then that involves getting a sitter, paying them, etc. What is a girl to do....Look for a new job and start going on job interview!!!

I hate job interviews, for so many reasons and on so many levels. I get so nervous and the whole time I am worrying I am saying the right thing, am I laughing at the right jokes, and do I have something stuck in my teeth! Then there is the obvious, does my breath stink, did I put on enough deodorant, and did I put on too much perfume...and if I did are they about to pass out or do they like it. Then I am wondering I they are impressed by my experience or am the the exact opposite of what they are looking for?!

Then there is the result of me watching too many news shows on statistics on job interviews....They tend to hire thin women over overweight women. I have seen it on 20/20, dateline, 60 minutes, and probably six other shows. Now, obviously there are exceptions to this statistic ( I have gotten jobs in my life), but that is still in my head everything I walk into an interview, "Am I not going to get this job because I love to eat French fries!!".

I am such a stress ball about little things like this, and although I should not be that afraid at these interviews, but I always am and probably always will. I just have to remember that if I am meant to get the job, than I will get it. If I don't get it, then it wasn't meant to be and if nothing else, I at least got practice on what NOT to do at an interview!!

Wish me luck!