sensitive

As the time away from my babies comes to a close (thank god) I am finding that I am so sensitive these days. I am internalizing everything and taking things that people say WAY too seriously. It is making me realize that I am not the person I used to be. Sure, I make some decitions (of if you rather mistakes) that some people wouldn't agree with or make themselves, but I am a grown woman, who is living her life the best I can. I can not, and will not change the person I am...it has taken me eleven years to finally realize that I like who I have become. Situations may change around me, but who I am on the inside is a good person who is blunt, generous, and generally happy and I will not let anyone make me feel less of person due to these character traits.

I guess I should say that this epifiny (if you will) is coming from an entry in another blog that I read regulary. I thought this person was a friend, but I am now realizing that differently, and as surprising as it sounds, I am ok with it. I am finally at a stage in my life that I no longer need to be surrounded by "friends", I just need that those two or three that I can call, day or night, good or bad, and they will be there. I have four of those people in my life right now, and they are the most patient, kind and wonderful people I know. They keep me grounded and tell me what I need to hear, which is not always what I want to hear. Although, sometimes they annoy me, or make me crazy, I know that at the end of the day, they are there for me for support, laughter and tears, and quite honestly, I have no idea how I could get by without them. I sometimes wonder if they know how much they mean to me, If they realize that just the simple fact that they don't judge me based on my decitions means the world to me, and just knowing that they see me as a woman with morals, respect and integrity helps me feel like I can take on the world and not be scared to do it!

So, to J,K,C,&S thank you for EVERYTHING!!

-Meg

I am certifiably insane!

One of the main reasons my parents took the kids this summer up to NH was so I could bang out as much school as I could. Well, due to circumstances beyond my control, I was not able to do that. But, I know that I need to really go full force in the fall, which is what my intention was.

Well, let me explain the situation in as little words as possible. I have my AS from BHCC, but in order to get into UCF, I need my AA (which I can receive from Brevard Community Collage), so that entails me taking a few extra classes, and then starting at UCF in December. Well, I finally got all my paperwork (there was a bunch coming from Boston) and headed out to BCC to turn in my paperwork and find out when I can register. Well after waiting in a monster line, I found out I was all set to register, I just had to talk to an advisor to see what classes from BHCC will plug in. Now, I knew some classes wouldn't work, but I was only anticipating 2 or 3 classes. So after sitting and waiting for an advisor (for 2.5 hours) I found out how many classes I would need......5!!!!!

Well, I left there feeling crushed that this was not going to be easy, but after ALOT of thinking, I decided to tackle this will full force and take the classes in the fall. I knew that my school schedule could be arranged so that I could still have plenty of time to work, and time for the kids, but my time will definitely be limited. I just have to remember that this is for the good of our family and the end result will be more time for all of in the long run.

So, for whoever is wondering, I will be pretty much out of contact from the months between September through mid December...haha. I figure sleep is a luxury, so it will also be taken out of the equation! But, the one thing I do know is that I can do this, and succeed at it. I just keep telling myself that even though I won't see my kids as much as I would like, the ultimate prize is worth this very tough semester and I only hope Maddie and Colin won't require too much therapy after it!!

-Meg

good-bye snowbirds!

So, here I am, living in FL, which is basically snowbird capital of the world. From the months between October and May (about) this state is bombarded with more senior citizens then one can imagine. They are all over the place, almost like a troop that goes to war and takes over a village, except with a lot less violence. Now, don't get me wrong, I knew that moving down here would entitle that (hell, my parents are snowbirds), but even throughout my first year here I had no idea how many people retire here to go up north in the summers, until this summer hit!

I work at a retail store that is basiclly a snowbird heaven! We have all the crafting supplies ones heart desires, and lets be frank, once most people retire, they decide its time to get crafty. I can remember when there would be a big sale going on at my store the place would be insane. I couldn't walk to the bathroom (which is in the back of the store) without getting stopped fifteen times to help get something or direct someone in the right direction. I was frustrating, but hey that is what I signed up for (plus I think my mom and aunt wanted the discount to the store as well..haha).

Well, since it is the summer, and teaching jobs are too far away (gas prices!) I have been working alot at the store. Now, on any given night (I only work the closing shift) I am not done with my work until at least a half hour AFTER the store closes, but not now. I was there on Wed. night and I actually got to leave an hour early! Why you ask, because all the snowbirds have gone up north (or wherever) and there is so little to do! I was extatic to leave early and get home at a normal time.

I know that once the fall comes back, than we will be back to norm....slow drivers, longer lines at stores, and my store getting trashed, but for now I am enjoying it.

Meg

gone again!

Well, the title says it all. Yesterday morning, at 4:30a.m. I had to say good-bye to my babies again and I won't see them again for four more weeks. It was heart wrenching (again) to say good-bye and there were a lot of tears, but I am so glad that I had my time with them to give me the charge to get me through the rest of the summer.

All and all, my visit was wonderful and here is why:

-Seeing fat and cute Kylie as well as Paige, Micheal, and Stinky, who all seemed so much taller to me!
-Having talks in person, which mean so much more than those over the phone
-Going out on the boat!
-Watching a lifetime supply of Kama's world famous brownies disappear in a matter of days!
-A real steak and cheese (thank you Melissa!!!!) and having real seafood!
-Being a big goof with Jaime, once again, more fun in person than over the phone!
-Spending time with Shaun and Julie and their zip code and realizing why I love kids, but I don't want anymore of my own!!!
-Playing texas hold'em with the Sullivans and staying in longer than most!
-and most importantly, kissing and hugging my babies anytime I want!



There was so much more, but these were the highlights of my trip. I also am happy to report that I made it on the airplane, both ways, and I didn't have the big one! See, mom, I am a big girl now!! haha! If I didn't see you, I am sorry, but I am surprised I had time to sleep I was so busy. Now, its just a countdown until my babies get home. So until then, I will just keep working my tail off to try to pass the time.

And on a side note, after my plane landed yesterday, and the pilot gave us the OK to turn on our cell phones, I turned my on and not even a minute later, my boss called me and asked me to go into work. So, I ran home, threw in a load of laundry, and off to work I went! Who would have thought that I could be a such a work-a-holic!

-meg