June 6th

This day is fast approaching and the closer it gets, the crazier I get. You would think that I would be ok with it by now, but every year I get crazy, and I know why I am crazy, and I know that I am going to be crazy, but yet each year the same thing happens.
The funny thing is that I know what I should do...double up on my meetings, call my sponsor, read the big book, etc. But do I? Hell no!! I just act and think crazy and try to be superwoman, and make up a million reasons why I can't do what I am supposed to do (and people wonder why I am psychotic!!!!)
When the day finally comes around, I usually forget what day it is until about noon, and then its almost as if I have a spiritual awakening because the knot is gone in my stomach, my head shuts off, by heart stops beating a million miles a minute and I realize that I have made it through another year.
The strangest thing is that I can always look back on the years and pin point the major life change I am going through at that time of the year. It has been something every year and it just adds to the chaos already in my life.
Well, it felt good to get that out, and the most important thing that I need to remember is that I always get through, and when it is all done, I can say "now, what was all the fuss about?"